THE GATEWAY
volume XCVI number 42 « the official student newspaper at the university of alberta «
www.gateway.ualberta.ca + thursday, 23 march, 2006
OH GOD, IT’S RAINING WOMEN Sky Glabush’s futuristic painting, All Want Love, fuses modernist architecture with
a
SKY GLABUSH
’50s-era bikini models and a monolithic geisha. Starting on page 13, the Gateway profiles the work of four U of A artists.
Council vote short
on candidates, again
JAKE TROUGHTON
Senior News Editor
The annual Students’ Council elec-
tions are set for today and tomorrow,
giving U of A students a chance to vote
on who will represent them on the
Students’ Union’s highest body—most
students, anyway.
As in the past, the number of can-
didates for seats on Council has fallen
well short of the 42 seats available.
Only two of 16 faculties have more
candidates than seats—Science, with
13 candidates for eight seats, and Law,
with two for one—while seven—
Agriculture, Forestry and Home
Economics, Augustana, Native Studies,
Nursing, Open Studies, Pharmacy, and
Rehab Medicine—have no candidates
at all.
According to the SU Chief Returning
Officer Rachel Woynorowski, such fig-
ures aren’t at all out of the ordinary.
“Tt’s on par. The only really strange
thing that’s happened this year is the
huge number of candidates running
in Science,” she said.
Hand-in-hand with low candidate
interest is low voter interest: while
turnout for the SU Executive election
earlier this month was over 20 per
cent, one of the highest such figures
in Canada, turnout for the Council
election usually hovers around five
per cent, and in smaller faculties
can sometimes drop below two per
cent.
“CAB, V-Wing and a lot
of the Science buildings
are pretty heavily
postered, which is nice
because it makes the
election visible.”
RACHEL WOYNOROWSKI,
SU CHIEF RETURNING OFFICER
Though all candidates are faced with
a “none of the above” option on the
ballot, it rarely if ever defeats a candi-
date. Asaresult, otherwise uncontested
races tend to be quieter and less vis-
ible as candidates are more restrained
in their campaigning, making it dif
ficult to attract voters to the election,
according to Woynorowski.
“CAB, V-Wing and a lot of the
Science buildings are pretty heav-
ily postered, which is nice because
it makes the election visible. They
haven't always been, and it’s some-
thing we struggle with,” she said.
PLEASE SEE VOTE # PAGE 2
Ambassador Sproule praises
Canadas role in Afghanistan
CHLOE FEDIO
Deputy News Editor
As a result of Prime Minister Stephen
Harper’s increased commitment to
Afghanistan, Canada’s role has been
changing in the war-torn country.
Yesterday, Canadian Ambassador to
Afghanistan David Sproule was on
campus to discuss how efforts will
proceed.
“The obligations that
Afghanistan has
taken on, insofar as
international human
rights instruments are
concerned, reflect what
should be considered
universal values now.”
AMBASSADOR DAVID SPROULE
Sproule, who joined Foreign Affairs
Canada in 1981 and was appointed
ambassador in 2005, said that, despite
the recent rise in conflict, the situation
in Afghanistan isn’t necessarily getting
worse.
“T think the reason we're having an
upsurge in the attacks is that our forces
are going to areas that they've never
gone in before, some of which have
the Taliban,” he said, adding that insur-
gent forces are testing the strength and
determination of defending forces. “I
think it’s pred ictable.”
Sproule, a native of Edmonton who
studied both political science and law
at the U of A, was involved in the
Afghanistan Compact, an international
conference held in January 2006,
affirming a shared commitment to
peace and stability in Afghanistan. The
Compact identified three main goals
that would contribute to the betterment
of Afghan life: security, government
and economic and social development.
“The obligations that Afghanistan
has taken on, insofar as international
human rights instruments are con-
cerned, reflect what should be consid-
ered universal values now: freedom
of religion, the right to association,
freedom of speech—those aren't cul-
turally specific anymore, if they ever
were,” he said.
PLEASE SEE APGHANISTAM * PAGE 2
Former Black Panther to give final
Revolutionary Speakers Series lecture
ALEXANDER DEACON
News Staff .
Dr Angela Davis's vigil against racism,
injustice, and oppression has led her
from universities in Europe to the FBI’s
most wanted list, and this Tuesday it
will bring her to the Myer Horowitz
theatre as the final lecturer in this
year’s Revolutionary Speakers’ Series.
Her lecture, entitled “Global
Resistance to Global Capitalism:
Reforming Race, Class, and Gender
in the 21st Century,” will address an
array of issues, including the cur-
rent status of democracy, and how
the United States is exporting its own
peculiar brand of freedom.
“In the US, we're governed by a
president who represents his govern-
ment, and this country, as the world’s
leader with respect to democracy,
and this is the justification for mili-
tary assaults, for torture, for denial of
rights and liberties,” she said.
She also noted that the ongoing
conflict in Iraq is having a profound,
and often underappreciated, effect on
global dynamics.
“We've just observed the third
anniversary of the war on Iraq, and
I would like to urge people to think
very deeply about the implications of
what’s going on in the world.”
She elaborated on that theme, argu-
ing that the current buzzwords of
the Bush administration—freedom
and liberty—are having their mean-
ings redefined in the current climate
of aggression in the ever-present war
against global terrorism.
“I would like us to think about the
meanings of these terms, the mean-
inglessness of these terms within the
particular rhetoric employed by the
government of the United States,” she
said.
Davis has been an outspoken activ-
ist for her entire life. At age eleven,
she was a member of an interracial
discussion group in her hometown of
Birmingham, Alabama, where racial
segregation was an inescapable fact of
life. Because of the group’s activities,
the church where they met was even-
tually bombed.
“T remember that my mother con-
stantly told us that this was not the
way things were supposed to be, and
that someday they'd be different, and
that we could help to make that differ-
ence,” she explained.
Davis has maintained her commit-
ted sense of activism throughout her
university career, striving to combine
her academic and activist work, and
she hopes to encourage people to think
more deeply about circumstances in
their lives and their responsibilities
as citizens of North America in an
increasingly global community. She
emphasized that activism can be an
element of people’s day-to-day lives.
“I would say, as I've said many times
before, that the work that I do as an
activist isn’t extraordinary, it’s not the
result of an epiphany; it’s simply the
way I've learned over the years to live
my life.”
Davis is Presidential Chair
and Professor at the History of
Consciousness Department at the
University of California, Santa Cruz, as
well as director of the Feminist Studies
department. She is the author of nine
books, and was the Communist can-
didate for US Vice-President in 1980
and 1984. Her lecture will take place
at 7pm on Tuesday, 28 March at the
Myer Horowitz Theatre.
Inside
News 1-3
NationalNews 4-5
Opinion 7-10
Features 11-16
_ Sports - .17-20
ARE 21-25
Comics © 26-27
- Classifieds : 28
SPORTS, PAGE 17
Into the Bears den
Do Bears win in the finals? There's
only one way to find out: read up on
this weekend's University Cup.
prtt:
Flight training
Everybody has fond childhood
memories that influence the rest of
their lives—even Osama.
2 NEWS
thursday, 23 march, 2006
THE GATEWAY
thursday, 23 march, 2006
volume XCVI number 42
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Low voter turnout expected
again for Council election
Law aside, most faculties traditionally see single-
digit turnout for Students Council elections
VOTE + CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
“Because the positions [in other fac-
ulties] are uncontested, people aren’t
too worried about putting up posters,
which is unfortunate, because poster-
ing is one of the biggest ways we do
election promotion. It’s why we give
candidates money.”
Law, where Council and faculty
association elections are held at the
same time and both tend to be much
more visible than in other faculties,
had over 60 per cent voter turnout
last year, and Woynorowski predicted
another high turnout this year. She
also said she expects Science turnout
to exceed its usual five to seven per
cent range. Aside from that, though,
low turnout is expected across the
board.
“It really depends on how visible
the elections are,” she said. “It’s hard
to engage the normal student to vote
when you say there’s an election going
on right now and they look around
and say, “Where?”
It will be a little easier for students
to vote this year, however. In the past,
students have had to vote at specific
polls for their faculty, but with the
introduction of electronic ballot-
ing, voters can now cast their ballots
at any of the polling stations around
campus.
“Because the positions
[in other faculties] are
uncontested, people
aren't too worried
about putting up
posters, which is
unfortunate, because
postering is one of the
biggest ways we do
election promotion.”
RACHEL WOYNOROWSKI,
SU CHIEF RETURNING OFFICER
There’s one caveat, though: some
faculties—including Arts, Science,
and Law—are also running their fac-
ulty association elections in conjunc-
tion with the Council election, and
students wishing to vote in both at
the same time will still need to go toa
faculty-specific poll.
Afghans ‘proud of their
constitution:
APGHANISTAN * CONTINUED FROM PACE 1
And while Afghanistan has signed
many international human rights
agreements, including ratifying a
commitment to the International
Criminal Court, without economic
development, Sproule is skeptical that
the country can achieve its goals.
“If we don’t provide security,
Afghanistan cannot go forward eco-
nomically,” Sproule said, adding that
the two are “mutually enforcing.”
Further challenges exist in relation to
narcotics, which account for 60 per cent
of the Afghan economy, according to
Sproule. He went on to say that Canada
can play a role in helping Afghans
develop alternative livelihoods, instead
of relying on poppy growers.
Other reform initiatives include
an effort to train police forces, and
reform a justice system that is fraught
with problems.
“The justice system is very rudi-
mentary; there’s not an extensive
body of law,” he said, explaining that,
despite the desire to adhere to interna-
tional human rights, there’s a lack of
framework in the Afghan legal system.
“They don’t have the implementing
legislation.”
Canadian troops and other mem-
bers of the international community
have made long-term commitments
to the area, but Sproule emphasized
ambassador
that Afghans are quite involved in
the rebuilding process too, and that
both factions are working together so
Afghanistan reach independence.
“Tt’s important that the Afghans that
observe this say, ‘It’s our soldiers that
are involved in providing security for
us. It’s not only foreign soldiers who
are there and helping provide our
security.’ That’s also important from
an optics point of view,” Sproule said.
And while one audience member
alluded to an “underlying colonial fla-
vour” to the involvement of Western
governments in Afghanistan, saying
they have a notorious history for cul-
tural oppression to serve their own
interests, Sproule said that the Afghans
are playing an important role in the
democratization of their nation.
“The constitution that was adopted
in Afghanistan wasn’t a Western docu-
ment: this was what Afghans decided
to adopt as their constitution, and it
was a made-in-Afghanistan docu-
ment,” he said. “They’re very proud of
their constitution.”
He went on to say that democracy is
of growing importance in Afghanistan,
which is especially evident in the
recent presidential elections.
“The way to succeed in Afghanistan
isn’t the way they were able to in the
past—by might is right—but by dem-
ocratic means,” he said.
Kelsey Chegus
Engineering IV
No. | have to give a presentation in Red
Deer on Sunday, so! won't have the time
to go to any of the games.
8101 - 103 St.
Whyte Ave
STREETERS
The Golden Bears hockey squad will take to the ice at home as the defending champions and top seed
for the Telus University Cup, today through Sunday.
Do you plan to attend any of the games?
Jenny Dromparis
Science |
No, probably not. | just don’t have the
time to go; it’s going to be a busy week.
Josh Friesen
Computer
Science II
No.| don’t go to a lot of sporting events,
and | just really don’t have the time.
Compiled and photographed by Scott Lilwalland DanaKomperdo
we get your engine goin’ eee lala
Mary Thompson
Pharmacy |
| didn’t even know that the University
Cup was going on. But now that | know
.. No, | probably won't go. I’ve got exams
coming up, so | don’t have the time to
go.
THE GATEWAY « volume XCVI number 42
NEWS
Business students go homeless for YESS
ALEXANDER DEACON
News Staff
The U of A School of Business is chal-
lenging the notion that business and
greed go hand-in-hand, as two of its
students are spending the week living
homeless to raise money and aware-
ness for the Youth Emergency Shelter
Society (YESS).
Clark Barr and Frank Callele, both
fourth-year Business students at the
U of A, have been emulating the life
of a homeless person since Monday,
continuing until Friday as part of this
year’s Five Days for the Homeless cam-
paign. In addition to giving up such
comforts as a reliable source of food,
the duo will not be able to shower or
sleep indoors for the duration of the
week.
“We started [20 March] at mid-
night, and we slept outside. I think the
first sleeps may be the hardest ones.
I sure struggled to get to sleep—it’s
pretty cold outside,” said Barr.
Callele explained that the motivation
for spending a week without every-
day amenities came from the desire
to make a contribution to the com-
munity, and especially to youth who
don’t enjoy the same opportunities
that many people take for granted.
“Sleeping on a grate really brought
that home for me again. You know,
just the simple comforts of your own
bed, or being in a warm room, are
really taken for granted sometimes,”
said Callele.
All proceeds will be donated to
YESS, a society dedicated to providing
aid for at-risk youth. Last year, Barr
and Callele raised over $2000, and
this year they hope to raise $2500.
“We're going to approach students
throughout the week. Most students
are very responsive, and give whatever
they can,” said Callele. “That’s one
thing that really surprised us last year.
On the last couple of days we probably
Ri Cy Pa ae ae a. ey
MICHAELLIU
NO ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS Business students Clark Barr and Frank Callele
are sleeping outside this week for their second annual fundraising campaign.
raised over $1000 by just passing a hat
around.”
A new element has also been added
to this year’s campaign. Dr Sandy
Hilton, an accounting professor in the
School of Business, is going to spend
one night sleeping outdoors with
Barr and Callele for every $500 that
the staff and students at the business
school raise.
“T think the first sleeps
may be the hardest
ones. I sure struggled
to get to sleep—it'’s
pretty cold outside.”
FRANK CALLELE
Hilton said that he became involved
as an attempt to get Business students
more involved in the campaign that
is already garnering much attention
from the Business faculty due to its
originality.
“That’s what I liked about this. It’s
not your everyday fundraiser. And
plus, [Barr and Callele] are willing to
put themselves on the line for it,” he
said. “Frank and Clark have a passion
for raising money for the emergency
shelter, and would do it whether it
brought in 1000 bucks or 3000 bucks.
It doesn’t really matter.”
This is the second year that Barr and
Callele have put on the Five Days cam-
paign, and although both students are
graduating this year, they hope that
the fundraiser will not only become
an annual event at the University,
but will spread to other campuses as
well.
“Next year there's a few people
interested, and we're hoping that we
can pass it on to them,” said Callele.
Barr went on to say that some of
his friends from McMaster’s Business
school took part in a similar campaign
last fall.
“They're looking to do it again this
year as well,” said Barr. “It’s kind of
cool to see something that you started
go to another campus.”
CompSci student takes on big
responsibility with NATO internship
Matti Heikkila charged with helping keep NATO’ information secure
EDMON ROTEA
News Staff
For Matti Heikkila, working and
living abroad as an intern can be a
challenging experience—especially
when your internship is at the North
Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO)
headquarters in Brussels.
Fortunately, Heikkila’s civilian and
military experiences have helped
him overcome a variety of challenges
and adversities—including adjusting
to life in a foreign country.
“Brussels is definitely different
from Canada. If 1 could come up with
a Canadian equivalent, it would have
to be Vancouver. It rains quite a bit
here,” says Heikkila, who recently
began his six-month internship at
NATO earlier this month.
Heikkila, a third-year U of A
computing science major, is cur-
rently working at NATO's Executive
Management Division, a department
composed of international staff who
oversee the daily operation and sup-
port of all elements operating at NATO
headquarters. The department's func-
tions range from support and confer-
ence services, to human and financial
resources, to information manage-
ment—functions that demand a high
degree of computer network security.
Though Heikkila couldn't com-
ment about the details of his intern-
ship for security reasons, he believes
that a variety of computer security
issues pose a great threat to computer
networks all over the world.
“For me, viruses, worms and the
identification of malware [malicious
software programs intended to infil-
trate and damage a computer without
the owner’s consent] are extremely
important and will only continue
to increase in severity. I believe that
companies and large organizations
are more likely to be targeted by
specific, custom-designed malware,”
says Heikkila.
Heikkila’s experience as a Reservist
in the Canadian Forces has also been
an asset—not only for his internship
and postsecondary education, but life
in general.
“The Communication Reserve has
been an extremely important part
of my life and growth as a person.
During my military training, I’ve had
the opportunity to learn many differ-
ent skills. Not all the skills are trans-
ferable to life as a civilian, but you
overcome so many challenges during
a course that make daily civilian life
not so difficult,” says Heikkila, who
also credits his military experience
in helping him gain confidence in
overcoming challenges like his com-
puting science courses.
“That sort of confidence is one
of the most important things I've
learned during my military courses
and training. It’s allowed me to push
myself and achieve more than I imag-
ined possible,” adds Heikkila.
Heikkila has served in the
Communication Reserve for the past
five years as a Signals Operator—a
position that entails working with tele-
communications devices, computers,
and matters of information and com-
munication security. He also believes
that his experience as a member of
CRIPT—the Communication Reserves
Information Protection Team—have
helped arm him with a set of skills
and experience that will benefit his
internship. However, Heikkila con-
tinually strives to gain insight and
knowledge about new things.
“Tm looking forward to learning
new skills at NATO. It’s always inter-
esting to see the different approaches
organizations use to address the com-
plicated and unique problems associ-
ated with securing and managing a
large information system,” Heikkila
explains.
“T really look forward to contrib-
uting and adding to the security and
usability of the network.”
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Racial motives suspected after U of T
hit and run sends man to hospital
Four men attending a Muslim theology seminar on University of Toronto
campus attacked by speeding vehicle after racially charged confrontation
ANAS MELHAM
The Varsity
TORONTO (CUP)—A man is recuper-
ating in hospital after being struck by
a speeding vehicle on the University
of Toronto campus Sunday in a hit and
run attack.
AU of T official suggested the inci-
dent was motivated by road rage, but
there are signs that racism may have
been a factor in the attack.
A group of four young men, who
were attending a Muslim theol-
ogy seminar hosted by a non-profit
organization called the al-Maghreb
Institute, were returning from a
break when an altercation broke out
between them and the suspect in the
hit and run. According to witnesses,
the victim mocked the suspect after
he caught him urinating on a wall. A
verbal dispute ensued and culminated
with the victim kicking the suspect’s
car, evidently infuriating him.
“My attention was diverted as soon
as I heard the suspect yelling out racial
slurs like, “You fucking [racial expli-
tave], don’t fucking kick my car,”
said Fowzia Duale, who witnessed the
incident. “The four guys were talk-
ing back to the suspect, but I couldn't
hear them. After a minute he got into
his car and went after them. He drove
onto the sidewalk and tried to hit
them but missed; I thought it was over
when he sped off-”
The suspect quickly returned, said
Eman Ahmed, a second eyewitness.
“As the guys were crossing the street,
the moment they stepped off the curb,
we heard tires screeching. From where
I was standing the next thing I saw was
the [man] rolling off the hood of this
guy's car and falling on the road.”
“Even if the police
investigation doesn’t
conclude that this was
a hate crime, which
it appears to be, its
repercussions still
affect a significant
portion of the U of T’s
student body.”
SHAILA KIBRIA,
U OF T STUDENTS’ ADMINISTRATIVE
COUNCIL VICE-PRESIDENT (EQUITY)
This isn’t the only recent attack at
U of T that’s believed to be motivated
by anti-Muslim sentiment. Last week,
two Muslim students were assaulted
in a campus washroom in what was
apparently a racially motivated attack.
Later, a group of Muslim students were
egged. Police investigations are ongo-
ing into those incidents, and there’s no
evidence of a connection between the
previous attacks and Sunday’s alterca-
tion, but that’s of little comfort to stu-
dents who are already feeling unsafe.
“The al-Maghreb— Institute had
posted the article about the Hart
House incident on their website and
told us to walk in groups for safety
purposes,” said Ahmed.
U_ of T Vice-Provost » (Students)
David Farrar said the al-Maghreb
Institute, which isn’t affiliated with
U of T, has held events on campus in
the past without incident.
“To our knowledge, none of the par-
ticipants are students at the University,
and the suspect was not a member of
our community,” he said. “It actu-
ally sounds like a road-rage kind of
incident.”
Outgoing Students’ Administrative
Council Vice-President (Equity) Shaila
Kibria disagreed with Farrar’s assess-
ment, however.
“Tm disgusted by what this person
did,” said Kibria. “The guy used racial
slurs during the altercation and then
tried to run over that group of Somali
men twice, hitting one, all within five
minutes? If that doesn’t constitute a
hate crime, then what does?”
According to Kibria, this incident is
the worst of a string of Islamophobic
attacks at U of T.
“Even if the police investigation
doesn’t conclude that this was a hate
crime, which it appears to be, its
repercussions still affect a significant
portion of the U of T’s student body,”
she said. “Muslim students must feel
safe on this campus, and that won't
happen until the proper protective
measures are taken.”
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THE GATEWAY «+ volume XCVI number 42
NATIONAL NEWS
O
U of T student lodges racism complaint
over controversial magazine in library
ADEEL AHMAD
The Varsity
TORONTO (CUP)—A University of
Toronto student has lodged a formal
complaint against one of the school’s
libraries after finding a magazine on
its shelves that he said was disguised as
a legitimate academic source.
The magazine, titled Zionism is
Racism, was published in 1975 by the
Communist Party of Canada, and fea-
tures a collection of United Nations
resolutions, newspaper articles and his-
torical pictures. On the shelf; however,
it looked like any other scholarly text,
bound in hardcover and bearing the
title Zionism and Racism on its spine.
Daniel Roth stopped short of call-
ing the magazine hate literature, but
did say that he was “rudely surprised”
and “offended” by it. Roth said the
title on the binding, implying a dis-
cussion of Zionism and racism rather
than a claim about it, was deceptive
and “there to fool people.”
“It's a particular party with a par-
ticular agenda that’s not backed up,”
Roth said.
In an e-mail sent to various campus
organizations, Roth said that the cred-
ibility of the University was called into
question by the fact that the material
was placed in the Robarts Library
stacks and intended to be a legitimate
academic source.
“T don’t know if students can trust
that everything [at Robarts Library] is
an academic resource,” he said.
Roth, who described himself as a
Progressive Zionist—a movement for
which “peace and justice is a good
slogan’—said that his complaint
wasn't motivated by his political
beliefs.
But rather than ask for the magazine
to be removed from circulation, Roth
asked that the binding be removed
so that library patrons could appraise
the magazine themselves. He also
asked for an apology from the library
directed to all students.
In response to Roth’s complaint,
Gabriela Bravo, the assistant director
of Public Affairs for U of T libraries,
said that the problem was simply the
result of a typo—namely, the substi-
tution of the word “and” for “is” in
the title. It may have occurred either at
the bindery as a simple mistake, or it
may have been the result of confusion
with other titles. Regardless, she said
the error will be corrected.
The hardcover binding was put in
place to protect the magazine, which
otherwise “would just get destroyed,”
according to Anne Dondertman, the
assistant director of the Thomas Fisher
Rare Book Library, where the maga-
zine can also be found.
Dondertman stressed that a large
research library such as Robarts has
a mandate to “provide access to all
points of view.”
“There are] tens of thousands of
things somebody might find offen-
sive,” she said.
The library administration also
plans to write a formal response to
Roth informing him of its course of
action.
Manitoba gives education a money shot
LEIGHTON KLASSEN
The Uniter
WINNIPEG (CUP)—The release of
the Manitoba provincial budget last
week held its fair share of surprises,
but the province’s $60 million invest-
ment into postsecondary education
was one of the key highlights.
This marks the first time the NDP
government has strategically split the
funding for postsecondary education
over a three-year period—a strategy
Advanced Education and Training
Minister Diane McGifford said will
ensure long-term financial planning
and keep student debt in check.
“By focusing on keeping student
debt manageable and providing stable,
predictable funding for three years,
this government is demonstrating in
an innovative and unprecedented way
its commitment to the future of post-
secondary education in this province,”
McGifford said in a press release.
The province pumped an additional
$2 million into bursaries and scholar-
ships, increased college and university
operating budgets by 5.8 per cent in
2006/07 and five per cent in the fol-
lowing two years, increased fund-
ing to the University College of the
North by $1.56 million for this year,
and invested $1 million into college
expansion initiatives.
Mathew Gagne, a spokesperson for
the Canadian Federation of Students
(CFS), was impressed with the
announcements.
“There was certainly an element of
surprise,” Gagne said. “When we met
with the minister, they always told us
they were taking steps towards, and
negotiating multi-year funding, but
they never really gave us any indica-
tion ... but it’s certainly a sign they are
committed to students.”
Gagne said the investment as a
whole is impressive, but pointed to
the increase in operating budget fund-
ing, grants and bursaries, and college
expansion initiatives as especially
useful.
“This targets lower-income stu-
dents, so they did a pretty good job in
addressing it,” he says.
He also said the federal government
now needs to step up to the plate and
match the province's commitment to
students.
“There is one more area [that needs
funding]: research for professors and
funding for professors—but that’s a
federal jurisdiction,” he says. “The
province is doing the best they can do,
but it needs to be echoed by the feds.”
URGENT
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PHOTO EDITOR
The Gateway has re-opened hiring for the position of Photo
Editor for the 2006-2007 publishing year (September 2006 to
April 2007). interested parties are encouraged to contact Matt
Frehner, incoming Editor-in-Chief, at photo@gateway.ualberta
or 492-6648.
CIRCULATION PALS
The Gateway is hiring two Circulation Public Affairs Liaisons
(PALs) to deliver the Gateway during the 2006-2007 publishing
year (September 2006 to April 2007). The successful applicant
will be a reliable U of A undergraduate student able to produce a
clean driver's abstract and available to work Tuesday and Thurs-
day mornings and early afternoons. Only shortlisted candidates
will be contacted for interviews _
Remuneration: $314.55/month
Deadline: Monday, March 27, 12:00 pm
Apply with cover letter and resume to:
Steve Smith, Gateway Business Manager
3-04 Students’ Union Building
T; 492.6669 F: 492.6665 E: biz@gateway.ualberta.ca
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OPINION
opinion@gateway.ualberta.ca + thursday, 23 march, 2006
Canada shouldnt
lobby to support
terminator seeds
AT AN UPCOMING United Nations conference,
the Canadian government will be lobbying to end
an international moratorium on the development
of “terminator seeds’ —seeds that produce sterile
offspring.
Companies that specialize in the development
of “improved” strains sell seeds to farmers. Some
staple-crop seeds are produced by a breeding tech-
nique called hybridization. First-generation hybrid
plants are very uniform in their properties—some-
thing that’s very important for intensive agriculture.
Were farmers to try to plant seeds produced by these
hybrids, however, their next crop would show huge
variety—an unwanted side effect of the recombina-
tion of genes.during sex. This means that, to have
consistent yields, farmers buying hybridized seeds
must buy every year. This is very profitable for
breeders.
However, not all staple crops are produced by
hybridization. The seeds of many plants, like wheat,
rice and soybeans, can be bred and planted year after
year. On many farms, seeds produced in one year
are saved, to be planted in the next. This is much less
profitable for breeders.
So, to force farmers growing these un-hybridized
crops to buy fresh seed every year, large breeding
companies have started modifying plants’ genes so
that their seeds effectively commit suicide—creat-
ing what are known as terminator seeds. When the
plant produces seeds, they’re loaded with a destructive
toxin and are rendered infertile.
This is dangerous for many reasons. First, if the
use of terminator seed strains became widespread,
and there were, for whatever reason, an inability to
produce or distribute the seeds, there would be wide-
spread famine.
Second, if poor farmers are encouraged, tricked
or forced into buying and planting terminator seeds,
they will likely lose their farms and their livelihoods
from the cost of buying seed every year.
Third, it’s extremely probable that the terminator
genes will spread to plants of the same species (or
even closely related species) in adjacent fields through
the process of cross-pollination. Though the effects
would likely only last for a generation—the seeds of
these plants would be terminators—it could ruin the
-crop of a farmer who wanted nothing to do with the
seeds. -
Fourth, these seeds could be hugely destructive to
natural ecosystems. Because the seeds are, by design,
loaded with toxins, and because insects, birds, mam-
mals, bacteria and fungi all consume or interact with
seeds, we run the risk not only of disrupting our crop
production, but the lifecycles of many other organ-
isms—with unforeseen, and unforeseeable,
consequences.
Last, there will almost certainly be effects that no
one—not politicians, not consumers, not farmers,
not business heads, not even our best scientists, will
be able to predict.
Given all of this, it seems that there should be some
sort of overwhelming advantage given by self-
terminating strains, some benefit to justify the risk.
But there isn’t. One of the only benefits proposed is
that terminating strains would prevent the unwanted
spread of genes from genetically modified strains—an
argument that neglects the spread of the termina-
tor genes themselves, and life's astonishing ability to
adapt to our attempts at ingenuity. The real reason that
terminator research is being encouraged isn’t disinter-
ested scientific inquiry, better crops or the prevention
of gene spreading—it’s profit.
Our civilization stands on the base of open
scientific investigation. New knowledge and new
solutions are often found in unpredictable places.
Our scientists must have the freedom to test and
investigate the natural world, but this doesn’t mean
that we shouldn't restrict the applications of what
they learn. Canada should stand with the rest of the
world in rejecting this research. Our food is too
important to risk.
TIM PEPPIN
Opinion Editor
LETTERS
Safewalk not as
important as other
services
| wish to respond to the 21 March
letters written by Davan Russell
(“Berghoff owes campus an
apology”) and Haley O'Connor
(“Berghoff’s Safewalk comments
insulting”) regarding my comments
about Safewalk on the Students’
Union Webboard.
When |, in contrasting Students’
Council with Safewalk, implied that
the latter was “some random vol-
unteer organization whose require-
ments are showing up once a week
and putting on a yellow jacket,” |
was exaggerating. | clarified this on
Webboard eleven hours later, noting
that, “Exaggeration is a rhetorical
technique used to drive home a
point.” | was trying to emphasize
that it is far more important for the
Students’ Union, which purports
to be a democratic organization, to
havea properly functioning Students’
Council than it is for it to have a prop-
erly functioning Safewalk.
Withregardstomycommentthat
“Safewalk is one of the [Students’
Union’s] less valuable services,” |
stand by it. The Students’ Union
provides many services, and unless
we care to live in a fantasy world
in which all services are of exactly
equal value, some are going to be
more valuable than others. |, for
instance, happen to believe that the
Student Financial Aid Information
Centre, the Access Fund, and the
OmbudService trump Safewalk in
their benefits to the student popu-
lation. As Student Councilor, it is my
responsibility to set the Students’
Union’s priorities in the face of lim-
ited resources, and any Councilor
who refuses to publicly weigh the
relative importance of different SU
spending projects is being at best
negligent, and at worst cowardly.
Last, my comments were made in
the context of a debate on how to
make Students’ Council more effec-
tive and representative. Several
people suggested that doing so,
especially if it required additional
SU funds, shouldn’t rank high on
the Students’ Unions list of priori-
ties unless it was also prepared to
devote more funds to, for example,
Safewalk.
The comparison is ludicrous:
like it or not, Students’ Council has
been placed by provincial. statute
at the head of the Students’ Union.
Students’ Council decides whether
a service is useful, whether it meets
student needs and whether it lives
or dies. For this reason, and many
others, the thought of an unrepre-
sentative Council ought to terrify
anybody who cares about anything
the SU does—including Safewalk.
| presume that Mr Russell and Ms
O'Connor would have preferred that
| not have been elected to Council.
Last year, only 107 of 5747 eligible
Arts students voted in said elections;
| would have been easy to defeat.
Councillor elections are today.
Vote.
CATRIN BERGHOFF
SU Arts Councillor
complete Oxford English Dictionary,
which lists some 616 500 words.
| am also not sure how you can
so confidently set yourself up as
arbiter of what is, and what is not,
a “real word.” Anyone who has been
to Hawaii will have likely seen aa and
pahoehoe (different types of lava),
and will find the words familiar, not
strange. Even my Canadian Oxford
lists aa. (By the way, aa is not a new
addition to the OSPD. It has been
included for years). My Canadian
Oxford also lists qi, and most well-
read people will be familiar with this
spelling of the word.
Serious Scrabble players would
strongly disagree with your conten-
tion that the recent update, which
added about 3000 words, dimin-
ishes the skill involved in playing at
a high level. And, to draw compari-
sons with steroid use is ridiculous.
Everyone has access to the new
words, if they possess the skill and
determination tolearn them. In fact,
the very best players have the ability
to master different lexica for differ-
ent tournaments—one for play in
North America, and a much larger
dictionary for the World Scrabble
Championship.
TONY LEAH
Toronto Scrabble Club
New words doing
nothing but improving
Scrabble, Fedio
| play Scrabble competitively, and
| think you should know that the
Official Scrabble Players Dictionary
is not an arbitrary collection of
words and non-words (Re: “New
words ruining game of Scrabble,”
21 March). It was compiled by refer-
encing four major North American
Collegiate Dictionaries. Only words
that are listed in one of these dic-
tionaries are included in the OSPD.
Even so, the OSPD, with about
83 000 entries, isa tiny fraction of the
Straight razors the
answer youre looking
for, Pierse
I'm glad that I'm not the only person
who thinks that the shaving razor
“arms race” is ridiculous. However, in
his call for simplicity, Mr Pierse rejects
the humble straight-razor of old.
Yeah, it takes a little practice, but
doesn't everything worth doing?
It beats the hell out of any “safety”
razor, and, you only buy one for life:
there’s nothing to throw out!
CHRIS PARKER
Grad Studies, Computing Science
Walking from FAC not
an option—don't ban
cars and buses
In response to Sarah Holmgren’s
letter (“Better ways to get clean air
than banning smoking,” 16 March),
I'd like to offer insight on the useful-
ness of the Faculté St Jean shuttle
buses.
Ms Holmgren might not be
aware that FSJ courses start half an
hour later than main campus (U of
A) courses. This is great for students,
as they can easily schedule their
classes on both campuses without
worrying about missing valuable
class time.
Ms Holmgren believes that
“there’s no reason for the shuttle
buses to the Faculté St Jean. Come
on people, a little scheduling plan-
ning and you'd have plenty of time
to walk over there.” Her logic is
flawed, and here’s why.
Faculté St Jean is on gist Street
and 84th Avenue—six kilo-
metres from main campus. If a stu-
dent has a class at main campus
right after a class at the Fac, they
have 40 minutes to travel to main
campus. |, being a long-legged 611”
speedy walker, couldn’t make it to
the Business building in 40 min-
utes—it takes me 45 just to get
to 112 Street and Whyte Ave! Even
waiting 15 minutes for the next
city bus, I’d only get to University
station two or three minutes
before class begins, which means
I'd have to book it to wherever I’m
supposed to be, and would still end
up being late.
The great thing about the shut-
tle buses (which we Fac people
affectionately call the minibus)
is that we can still get to either
campus with at least ten or 15 min-
utes to spare before class. Given
the alternatives, this is a great way
to ensure we're on time—just like
everyone else.
PLEASE SEE LETTERS * PAGE 10
8 — OPINION
thursday, 23 march, 2006
Canadian Urban Transit Association presents
JAKE
TROUGHTON
International Youth Summit
a? :
I'm above you. Better than. I'll admit, I don’t
know who's reading this. I’m sure a large number
of you are fine people with many admirable quali-
ties. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter. Regardless,
the words above will still ring true: I’m simply a
better person than you.
The reasons why are obvious to anyone with a
sufficiently advanced intellect, but since I’m the
only one who actually possesses a sufficiently
advanced intellect, I’m afraid I'll have to explain
it. I'll try to be adequately simplistic to enable
you to decipher my argument.
First, there are my academic accomplishments.
When I get my degree next year it will be despite
an attendance and effort record of Senate-like
proportions. Unlike so many of you who trudge
along, struggling to acquire enough knowledge to
pass your courses, I have no need for such trifles
as “reading textbooks” and “attending classes.”
My taste, too, is unrivalled among the general
population. There are many nerds out there, for
example, but they're all too focused; there are
your Star Trek nerds, your Buffy nerds, your sports
nerds, your music nerds and so on. These are all
well and good, but they're so limiting; I recognize
the importance of being all of these things.
And even within each area, I’m superior. Many
people enjoy watching sports, but few appreciate
the inherent value of sport, on a philosophical
level, like I do. Many people brag about “liking
all music,” but no one else has an iTunes playlist
that cycles from Buck 65 to Bob Wills.
Then there’s my ethical superiority. Most of
you are so morally flawed that you gleefully sup-
port the institutionalized torture and slaughter of
animals simply for your own dietary pleasure.
You all know, deep down, that that’s stupid, but
Id you
like to get involved in a sustainable transportation
project or initiative but don't know where to start?
Montreal, Canada
July 12 - 17, 2006
Submission deadline: March 31, 2006
To apply to be a delegate and for more information
check www.youthsummit.ca
Edmonton Transit Syste
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www.takeETS.com
BusLink 496-1600 Info 496-1611
standard we
AT,
I'm fantastic; you, well, less so
I’m one of the few who's managed to overcome
the natural human tendency to kid ourselves
about it. And that’s to say nothing of my gener-
osity, my tenderness and my compassion.
Now, I doti't*waiitany of this to come off as
arrogance. I have faults, and I'm keenly aware
of them. Yet in truth, even in this my inherent
superiority is evident. Knowing your faults is the
first step to correcting them, after all, and correct
them I do, I became vegan; I taught myself to
deal with strangers, however inferior; I learned
how to carry a newspaper on my back—in short,
I'm just constantly bettering myself. I was already
pretty damned awesome when I first came to
this University, but after seven years of adding
even more skills to my impressive repertoire, I
can honestly say without hyperbole that I'm a
million times more awesome now.
Remember, too, that in the 16 March Gateway
I penned an entire article owning up to a rather
poor prediction I'd made. How many of you have
the grace, the courage and the good humour to
humble yourselves like that, not to mention the
intelligence to recognize when it’s called for? Not
many, that’s how many. But I do.
Plus, as part of the deal, I even got to lift a
national hockey championship trophy. There are
only a few dozen other students here who can
say that—and they all had to work much harder
than I did for the privilege. Sure, they can talk
about having “earned it,” but I think we can all
agree that my way is much more efficient.
I could go on—and on and on and on, because
I'm truly fantastic in a plethora of ways—but I
think my point is made. I’m so smart in so many
ways, so good at so many things, that the fact
I’m able to deal at all with people who just don’t
compare to me—which is to say everyone—is
just a further sign of how great I am.
Men want to be me; women also want to be
me. Unfortunately, though, none of you can ever
be me, and the world is much poorer for it. But
at least there’s me: a shining beacon of every-
thing humanity could be, but isn’t. I hope you all
appreciate your good fortune in getting to bask
in the presence of someone so great.
@eu
Y
amenat'am
QO)
Gf
Cc
acy
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THE GATEWAY + volume XCVI number 42
he
Star Wars belongs in movie theaters
ADAM
GAUMONT
Imagine, if you will, a friendly, free-
spirited young man, well respected by
his peers, yet by no means physically
imposing. He has no mortal enemies
per se, but is known to be associated,
strictly on customary terms, with
certain characters of less favourable
repute. One of these acquaintances in
particular is known, in some circles, to
be rather hostile, perpetually engaged
in meddling and turbulent affairs.
This grim acquaintance, blinded
by his own belligerent perspective,
attempts to convince our peaceable
friend that he ought to join his gang
for protection, lest he find himself
alone and in dire straits. Our friend
recognizes at once the benefits offered
by such an allegiance, but is also wary
of its consequences. For one thing,
this protection wouldn't be free, and
certain undesirable obligations would
undoubtedly follow.
More importantly, there is also the
likelihood that siding with such a fac-
tion, though it would perhaps better
insulate one from other hostilities,
would also serve to attract them. In
other words, our friend’s acquisition
of a powerful ally might prove to be
a Pyrrhic victory of sorts, resulting in
more danger than he should other-
wise have found himself.
Lest such a situation should seem
purely hypothetical and removed
from. your daily concerns, consider
die de yd eee
SES IP aclala 4 Re oe, : "
this: Canada is, at this very moment,
in the same predicament as our afore-
mentioned friend. Specifically, our
country is under pressure from the US
to join in its proposed Missile Defense
System, commonly referred to as “Star
Wars” (because, you know, it’s not as
dangerous-sounding if we're blowing
stuff up way out in space).
Logistic considerations aside—
namely, that this strategy has been
repeatedly proven to be no more
promising or effectual than hitting a
bullet with a bullet—joining forces
with the gang that is the US military
is still a decidedly bad idea. Indeed,
even if this strategy was guaranteed
to work, it would still be unwise to
take part. For one thing, you never
want rogue states aiming ICBMs your
way, even if youre fairly positive that
they won't hit you; moreover, at least
in Canada’s case, we shouldn't be
encouraging any type of conflict that
threatens to escalate above the level
of skating around chasing a piece of
frozen rubber.
More recently, Bush reiterated his
country’s “right to first strike,” simply
based on the suspicion of an incom-
ing threat. Specifically, a White House
document from Thursday, 16 March
states that, “We do not rule out the use
of force before attacks occur, even if
uncertainty remains as to the time and
place of the enemy’s attack .. When
the consequences of an attack with
WMD are potentially so devastating,
we cannot afford to stand idly by as
grave dangers materialize.”
This brazen statement serves only
to remind the rest of the world that
America can and will do whatever it
wants, whenever it wants, based on
entirely unverifiable motives, and that
— ee
emcee daca’ aay
there’s nothing anyone can do to stop
them. Such a paradoxical declaration
also begs the question: are there any
rules or rights in times peace, let alone
war? If so, who enforces them, and
what's the point of having them?
The problem with preemptive
strikes, however, is not simply that
they’re “unfair”; rather, it's that, unless
they completely devastate the source
of a threat, revenge will be swift. Or,
if they do manage to completely dev-
astate the source of a threat, that nec-
essarily entails devastating an entire
nation and millions of people as well.
Nor would this be the first time that
the US should exercise such a “right”:
there was that whole business with
World War II and Hiroshima, as you
may recall.
Fast-forward to 2002, when Bush
withdrew his nation from the Anti-
Ballistic Missile Treaty in order to
develop the Star Wars program fur-
ther; now, four years later, pressure on
our country to jump on this ballistic
bandwagon is being reapplied thanks
to Stephen Harper’s rise to power.
Say what you will about Paul Martin
and Jean Chrétien, they recognized
the dangers of playing with nuclear
toys, and made it abundantly clear that
Canada would not participate in such
a hare-brained scheme as Bush’s Star
Wars brand of missile defense.
Today, we can only hope that
Harper, who has vowed to strengthen
ties to our southern neighbour, won't
be goaded into joining such a pact for
this reason. With his recent surprise
visit to Afghanistan, he reiterated his
commitment Canada’s military, and
surely this commitment entails not
endangering it, and the nation as a
whole, unnecessarily.
Can we pull these numbers together by tomorrow?
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GREAT SPRING AIRFARES TO
EUROPE FROM EDMONTON:
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Taxes and surcharges not included. Prices valid at time of advertising deadline and may vary depending
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Hie
Vice-presidents kept SU on the rails
ROSS
PRUSAKOWSKI
When they put on the conductor's hat
and led the Students’ Union out of the
station at the beginning of their terms
last year, the executive committee was
full of hope, optimism and a belief that
they could make a difference in the
lives of their peers. Yet, as they round
the last bend before handing control
of the SU to another team, they’re a
much different lot then the people who
started out just over eleven months
ago. For the most part, this quintet of
people who have led the SU for the past
year will leave office and will be able
to say they kept things on track—if just
barely, at times—and on time.
While they may not have been
the flashiest executive the SU has
ever seen, after the train wreck
that was their predecessors, Vice-
President (Academic) Matt Johnson,
VP (Operations and Finance) Jason
Tobias, VP (External) Sam Power and
VP (Student Life) Justin Kehoe can take
heart in the fact that they were effec-
tive. From keeping council informed
on their projects and goals to devel-
oping clear visions for what should
be done in their portfolios by the SU,
each of these four have deserved far
more than the minuscule pay they’ve
received.
In Tobias’ case, combining the pay
of the entire executive might not cover
what his value has been to the SU and
students this year. Blunt and single-
minded about tasks, Tobias has been
able to slay the organizational malaise
that too often plagues the SU, and has
actually taken action this year—on the
PowerPlant above all else.
Though the outcome of his plan
still has to be seen before anyone can
pass judgment, it’s encouraging that
Tobias hasn’t been content to ignore
the thousands of dollars in losses, or
to just slap a $50 000 coat of paint on
the wall to make things work. It’s just
too bad his recent predecessors were,
otherwise the SU might be in a differ-
ent position.
Lettner has been
more eager to offer
platitudes and make
excuses than to
work hard.
In Johnson’s case, while he may not
have been an ideal fit for the position
at first glance, he’s been extremely
active during his term. He’s managed
to present a clear and credible case
for students when the University has
proposed things like increasing the
number of exam slots per day, and has
pushed hard to get students trained
to run smart classrooms. While these
might only look like minor achieve-
ments, in a portfolio where—thanks
to the University’s Byzantine struc-
ture—real change can take a decade,
they're extraordinary.
A similar description fits the job
Kehoe’s done this year, as he’s moved
the student life position away from just
events and has delved into University
policy areas. Given the title of the posi-
tion, this shifting away from events
has been important, and will lead to
real gains for students beyond free
popcorn and movies in SUB.
Focusing the SU’s position has been
why Power has been an improvement
over her predecessor. Instead of con-
tinuously holding concerts and barbe-
cues for the same eight people, she has
ensured the external portfolio actually
has presented the students’ message
in a clear and concise manner. Add to
that the favourable rumblings coming
from the City of Edmonton on run-
ning a universal bus pass pilot project
sooner rather than later, and it seems
Power has made the most of her year.
While the four vice-presidents have
done admirable jobs this year, and
have restored the appearance of com-
petence at the highest level of the SU,
President Graham Lettner has done his
best to counter this. Since his earliest
days in office, Lettner has been more
eager to offer platitudes and make
excuses than to work hard.
By missing important council meet-
ings to play intramural basketball and
failing to communicate and coordinate
the SU’s tuition presentation to the
University’s Board of Governors with
the vice-president (external) and other
SU staff, he failed the students who
elected him, and who paid his salary
in the fall. Unfortunately, it seems he
didn’t remember that in winter when
he missed another chance to represent
students by publicly commenting on
the provincial government’s throne
speech—to go skiing.
Add that Lettner nearly squandered
a settlement and cost the SU thousands
in legal fees thanks to his ill-advised
comments on the Travel Cuts law-
suit—when it was almost resolved
after more than a decade of work—
and it’s amazing that the SU wasn’t
derailed entirely this year. But that’s
something that students should attri-
bute more to the four first-class vice-
presidents than to a president whose
off-track record from this year may
make him only qualified to work for
Canadian National Railways.
LETTERS + CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
Ms Holmgren, you might not find a
need for this service, but | know plenty
of students who appreciate it, includ-
ing myself. | highly doubt that you could
make the trek from Fac to Main in 30
minutes, even with the “extra planning.”
Even though walking to school would
be nice, in the interest of time, it simply
doesn’t make sense. Besides, why deny
ourselves the pleasure of being driven
by Rémi, Jean-Gilles, or George, the awe-
some minibus drivers?
AMINATA N’DOYE
Business V
Ostad’s arguments were an
embarrassment
This is in regards to the Point-counter-
point on 21 March (“The English lan-
guage needs a new pronoun’). Ostad
writes, “there will always be women and
there will always be men and nothing
will ever change the need in our soci-
ety for gender exclusivity.” Essentially,
he’s stating that the necessity of creat-
ing a society based on gender equity is
negated by difficulty. Ostad, consciously
or unconsciously, serves to market, rein-
force and institutionalize social oppres-
sion. Most importantly, Ostad misses
the point of Varsava’s argument, which
draws a connection between language,
culture and power. Language carries
with it values, assumptions and beliefs,
and mediates our actions in society.
Furthermore, Ostad writes, “You
can’t expect us to change our language
simply due to awkward social situations.”
Indeed, there is an ethical requirement
that you do. Currently it’s considered
inappropriate to use the word “nigger”
or “chinaman,” where before it was
commonplace. To identify with those
members of society that are on the
margins requires a vigorous imagina-
tion. And not for only five days like those
well-intentioned business students that
will never experience the hopelessness,
totality and reality of being homeless.
Nor will we, or will Ostad, ever be able
to understand motherhood or experi-
ence sexism. Varsava simply wants you
to be aware and stimulate your thought
process.
Realize what you are saying Ostad:
“I've got to say, Nina, | wish | could agree
with you. | mean your heart is in the
right place.” You deserve a pat on the
head, Nina: Ostad understands what
you are trying to do, but he, as a man,
clearly comprehends gender issues
and the oppression women face better
than you do. Because you disagree with
Varsava, you're implying that she’s emo-
tional, irrational and silly. In reality, she is
intelligent, articulate and funny. Using
words like “fuck,” “gitt,” “pissed” and
“stupid” brings nothing worthwhile to
discussion, it only discredits you. Where
Varsava is articulate, Ostad is crude.
Where Varsava is clear, Ostad is choppy.
Where Varsava is original, Ostad is cliché.
Where Varsava demonstrates an under-
standing of the material, Ostad seems
to not know what he is talking about.
n
FILIP ANI
Arts IV
ERWIN SELIMOS
Education IV
Letters to the editor should be dropped
off at room 3-04 of the Students’ Union
Building, ore-mailedtoopinion @gateway.
ualberta.ca.
The Gateway reserves the right to edit
letters for length and clarity, and to refuse
publication of any letter it deems racist,
sexist, libelous or otherwise hateful in
nature.
Letters tothe editor should be no longer
than 350 words, and should include the
name, student identification number, pro-
gram and year of study of the author, to
be considered for publication.
tuesday
THE GATEWAY
ot questays and thursday?
monday
TH & GATEWAY
most tuesdays and eoursdsy .
sm
wednesday
~ ‘THE GATEWAY
‘s
most tuesdays andl thareday ra
thursday
THE GATEWAY
a
nost tuesday? and tharsday
friday
THE GATEWAY
most tuesdays and thursday® “|
THE GATEWAY « volume XCVI number 42
Feature by Sarah Grynpas
with files from Claire Crighton
Illustration by Mike Kendrick
The BA and Beyond
Why your arts education will pay off after all
MONTREAL (CUP) — In their early days, universities were
places for intellectuals, radicals, and artists to create a lasting
body of knowledge and foster a culture devoted to understand-
ing the world.
Students received instruction in all disciplines, from lan-
guages, theology, and mathematics, which are still taught
today, to military engineering, dancing, and fencing, which are
decidedly less common.
Students were taught in close, personal settings. At Oxford
University in England, the first English-language university
in the world, students frequently engaged in discussions with
their professors, rather than passively listening to lectures that
could have been prepared years ago.
The system wasn’t ideal, however. Higher education was
virtually forbidden to anyone other than rich, well-connected
white men. Universities were often overtly religious, and
teaching atheism was forbidden.
Times have changed. An increasing number of prospective
university students think that classical education is a waste of
time. Students are treated like numbers rather than people.
It’s possible to attend class and never speak to your professor,
and with the advent of recorded lectures and online discussion
groups, you're able to ace a course you’ve never attended at
all.
Many students are electing to attend community colleges
instead of universities, finding it necessary to learn a skill or
trade. A simple BA no longer seems to cut it in a competitive
global job market.
Traditional education in a modern world
Every arts undergrad has likely had the experience of answering
the question, “So, what are you studying?” from well-meaning
acquaintances, only to be met with a blank stare. “Oh. So ...
you want to be a teacher, then.”
Detractors of the classical arts education claim that students
with BAs have no marketable skills. The cliché of the burger-
flipping Russian Literature PhD is pervasive in our culture, as
is the notion of the rich, pampered arts undergrad, maxing out
daddy’s credit card on designer clothes instead of attending
class.
But Professor Paul Yachnin, chair of McGill’s English
Department, feels these stereotypes are unfair.
“On the whole, I’d say my students are smarter than the ones
I taught 30 years ago. They’re better read, they know more, and
they think more logically. It might be because high schools are
more intense, or because there’s more pressure on students.
“Most of the students I’ve taught at a place like McGill see
themselves as intellectuals.”
Some students have questioned whether a broad, unfocused
humanities education has a place in modern society. A recent
survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers
found that the starting salaries for people with undergraduate
degrees in engineering or computer science average over $50
000 USD. In contrast, someone with a four-year undergradu-
ate liberal arts degree will earn barely half that during their first
year in the workforce, and the starting salary for someone who
knows a trade, like an electrician or pipefitter, is comparable to
that of a recent humanities graduate.
Most arguments in favour of a classical humanities education
sound vague at best, elitist at worst. When its advocates defend
studying the humanities or social sciences, they usually point
to the moral or intellectual development resulting from such
wee
courses of study.
One such proponent is John Fraser. The former editor of
Saturday Night magazine and current Master of Massey College
at the University of Toronto holds one of the few positions left
in modern academia overtly dedicated to pure intellectual
development.
Although primarily for graduate students, Massey College
is one of the few vestiges of a traditional style of university in
Canada. The college is an interdisciplinary environment, in
which leaders from all areas of society—industry, the arts, and
academia—can interact without any focus on earning money
or the ubiquitous networking.
“A comprehensive arts education puts you in the pathway of
history, gives you perspective on the future. A proper educa-
tion deeply influences how you see the world,” says Fraser.
Today’s flawed BAs
However, that doesn’t mean the typical modern Bachelor of
Arts program is perfect. Fraser believes that most narrow
undergraduate arts degrees are a big mistake.
“IT don’t think most students have decided on their career at
the age of 17. They should study a wide range of subjects in
order to find what they’re truly passionate about.
“University shouldn’t be so regimented. I’ve seen many stu-
dents have a chance encounter with something they thought
they’d never be interested in, and then completely changed
their field of study.”
Dr Bernard Shapiro, former principal of McGill and current
Ethics Commissioner of Canada, has also been outspoken in his
criticism of modern Bachelor of Arts programs. He believes
specializing in one discipline, whether it’s physics or philosophy,
is merely a watered-down version of a doctorate program.
“Students should study the sciences, arts, humanities, and
social sciences. It’s important to be exposed to the world out-
side their own fields of study. This gives students a broad range
of possibilities to think about their lives. They learn to think
critically, not simply repeat what they’ve heard before.”
Shapiro criticizes the lack of science and math included in
modern BA programs, arguing that there shouldn’t be such a
deep gulf between these disciplines. Despite these problems,
though, Shapiro believes that a traditional humanities educa-
tion remains as relevant in the modern world as it ever was.
However, he is concerned that some students tend to view a BA
asa stepping-stone on the way to getting a job.
“My generation was different. In the 1950s and 1960s, no
one worried about earning a living, because there were lots of
jobs available. Now, many people are tempted to forgo an edu-
cation that creates graduates who are morally and intellectually
autonomous. I understand the impulse, but I don’t think it’s the
right thing to do.”
In the hopes of offering students a more comprehensive edu-
cation, McGill recently created the freshman Arts Legacy pro-
gram, a year-long interdisciplinary approach to the foundations
of modern society.
Molly Churchill decided to participate in the program
because she believes that it gives her a wide, global foundation
for further study in the Faculty of Arts.
“It’s a way of broadening your knowledge and gaining an
understanding of the world,” she says, adding that, for her, job
prospects are a secondary concern. “I’m against going to school
just so you can get a job. Do what you like and something will
come along.”
Continued on the next page
12 FEATURE
thursday, 23 march, 2006
Escaping the Ivory Tower
Many arts students can’t shake the feeling that there’s some-
thing missing from their education. All the educators inter-
viewed for this article—who have reached the upper echelons
of academia—acknowledge that a traditional four-year arts
degree isn’t for everyone.
Fraser points out that many students go to university
straight out of high school because that’s what’s expected of
them. By contrast, in many European countries, it’s common
to take a year off between high school and university, in order
to work, travel, or just mentally prepare for four years of
intense study.
He maintains that personal growth shouldn’t be sacrificed
to education. He finds that many of the problems of modern
humanities educations could be mitigated if students and
professors let their academic education be tempered by non-
academic experience.
“The ‘Ivory Tower’ mentality does exist, but I feel that
students with outside experiences get more out of university
than those without. Some kids are better served at commu-
nity college, and aren’t able to really appreciate a university
education until they’re older. The single greatest asset in life is
experience.”
Fraser emphasized that students who attend university
because they feel they have to don’t get as much out of their
education as they could. To him, a humanities education should
not be analogous to how some viewed church attendance in the
old days: something all good people did, automatically.
Yachnin concurs. He once knew a student in a creative writ-
ing class who displayed tremendous aptitude as a novelist. He
talked her out of taking a degree in creative writing because he
felt that she would be better served exploring the world outside
of the academy.
Breaking the university mold
Although it’s something we don’t like to admit, social class does
inevitably affect how prospective students view the educational
experience.
Professor Yachnin believes that the modern university
system, despite all its benefits, does shelter people from many
of the more unpleasant aspects of life.
“Many university students, especially students at a place like
McGill, which doesn’t really position itself as a way to gain
AGM
Monday, March 27, 2006 at Gpm
Tory Lecture TL-11
entry into the job market, are sheltered from the harsh realities
of poverty. They have certain expectations about themselves,
about their lives, that aren’t always realistic.”
Yachnin emphasizes that this is not necessarily a bad thing.
“We don’t really have a place in society for luxuries any more.
Education for its own sake is valuable. It’s useful to know things,
to be educated, to know about philosophy or Shakespeare, but
also to know about the world.”
He believes universities would benefit from outreach pro-
grams, to attract people who don’t fit the stereotypical univer-
sity student mold.
“When I taught at the University of British Columbia, I had
students who were just as smart and capable as the ones at
McGill. But a lot of these students were first- or second-gen-
eration immigrants who didn’t have the luxury of assumin,
they could get a job without some sort of marketable skills. I
had to encourage them to study English literature for its own
sake.”
Dr Shapiro agrees that cultural factors in our society shape
the modern university, and students would profit from being
exposed to people and situations they might not otherwise get
to experience—both in and out of the classroom.
“I believe that social barriers keep more people out of uni-
versity than financial ones. Many people do not like the idea of
postponing gratification. It’s easy to forget that the traditional
university culture is only one way of thinking, among many.
Not everyone thinks the same way, or has the same goals for a
university education.”
Shapiro feels, however, that as long as the student has the
desire to learn, as long as they’re open to the possibility of
thinking, having a Bachelor of Arts degree will serve them later
in life.
“With all the new technology available, getting an education
should be more accessible, not less. With lectures and course
materials available online, some people, like single parents,
mature students, or people who are housebound have opportu-
nities to get an education.”
Professor Yachnin feels that, despite the way many BA pro-
grams have changed in order to keep up with the demands of
the marketplace, a humanities education still serves the same
purpose in society as it did in its inception.
“Universities are for the pursuit of knowledge. Not as
‘knowledge malls,’ which is what they’ve become to many
people, but as a place where individuals can immerse them-
selves in studying things not for their utility, but for their
beauty.”
Attention Grad Students!
All grad students are called to attend the most important
GSA meeting of the year! Any grad student can vote on or
introduce any item of business at this meeting, so you don’t
have to be on GSA Council to make a big difference for your
GSA at the AGM!
The main items of business will be elections for next year’s
Executive Committee and reports from the current Executive
on the past year. Election polls will open at 5pm and there
will be an opportunity to hear the candidates speak at Gpm.
Your Graduate Students’ Association
is holding its Annual General Meeting
ALL grad students are strongly encouraged to come out and
participate directly in your democratic student government! For more information visit www. gsa. ualberta.ca
THE GATEWAY «+ volume XCVI number 42 FEATURE 13
1,
FOCG
The Gateway’s Matt Frehner
takes a look at the work of
four Masters of Fine Arts
Ss at the U of A
A child of Morinville, Alberta, Erin Schwab spent a lot of time in the outdoors,
knee-deep in dirt. So when she moved into an eighth-floor Calgary apartment,
the self-identified plant nerd had what one might call an identity crisis: she
missed the dirt. In order to battle the concrete jungle, Schwab began visiting
greenhouses, buying plants, and eventually obsessively drawing them.
Questioning why nature had sucha profound influence on her life has led Schwab
to the work she does now, a prolonged study of plant roots. At the greenhouse,
Schwab was taught that roots are the most important part of the plant; leaves
can be chopped off, flowers can be plucked, as long as the root remains strong.
Though her work focuses largely on drawing, she also uses porcelain molds, cast
from roots she has gathered, to explore their fragility and form.
Schwab’s project, in a nutshell, is to introduce people to the beauty of the roots
that underlie everything we see. The aim, perhaps, is to understand and evalu-
ate our attachment to surface qualities, rather than what’s underneath—what
keeps the organism alive. And also, on a personal level, to figure out why she
feels such a strong attachment to nature in the first place.
14 FEATURE thursday, 23 march, 2006
"SSIs a i aa eat BU
Michelle Murillo is investigating memory. Her work in printmaking involves
everything from photographs to silk-screens to ink transfers, all in an attempt to
explore the fragmentary nature of our memories. As a result, her work is very
modular, and often hints at an image without inducing anything substantive.
Two of her works pictured here involve simply rolling a piece of plywood in
ink, and then transferring that ink to either sheer fabric or aluminium. Even
though the process is identical, since each piece is a unique impression, subtle
differences begin to manifest over time. For Murillo, these prints speak to our
desire to distill an image or memory, something tangible, out ofa work where
nothing concrete exists.
Another way Murillo approaches memories is through an analysis of the film-
making process, shown here in the upper set of prints. She juxtaposes macro
images of scissors with a piece of hung fabric—a contrast between the fragmen-
tary and the immediate.
THE GATEWAY «+ volume XCVI number 42 FEATURE 15
ee
There's a gentle uneasiness at work in Sky Glabush’s paintings. In his earlier
work, he shows us a future society, but it seems to be set in the past: we find
quintessentially ’50s-era folk hanging out among modernist landscapes and
architecture, not at all uncomfortable, though clearly not at home. In these
paintings, Galbush is playing on, and questioning, the idea of modernism as the
path to the utopian society —looking at the absurdity of modernist architecture
arising in the post-war 1950s of ugly bikinis and family vacations.
Continuing in the architecture vein, Glabush’s newest work involves painting
based on three-dimensional models, which he builds to reference traditional
modernist architecture. It is, in a sense, an odd way to approach painting.
Usually an artist will use paint as a medium because of its broad creative scope,
but to Glabush, painting is just a mechanical reproduction of the models he has
created—he finds his creativity in the building of these environments. Galbush -
ends up with a hybrid painting, one that references both the ideas of modern-
ist architecture and the tradition of modernist painting. In all of this, Galbush
is evaluating the modernist philosophy that creates living spaces according to
precise grids and forms, rather than according to specific human needs.
16 FEATURE
thursday, 23 march, 2006
MENDOIO™?™
Walking into Kelly Johner’s sculpture studio, the space seems like it belongs
more to Bob Vila, rather than, you know, an artist. Johner does her work almost
entirely with pre-fabricated wood cut-offs left over from a factory that makes
large laminated-beams. Asa result, her studio is literally overflowing with oddly
shaped wood blocks and sawdust. Emerging from among the piles, though, a
few half-finished sculptures look slightly more planned than the chaos that sur-
rounds them—and these are decidedly not a product of This Old House.
In discussing her process, Johner describes it as a kind of like Lego for grown-
ups. She fits together odd pieces of scrap wood, cuts them into different shapes,
and uses glue or some bolts here and there, until eventually a form begins to
materialize. The whole act is organic and intuitive, not really driven by an
underlying philosophy. But, though it isn’t explicit, the play between the organic
nature of the wood and its form as industrialized scrap is obvious.
Especially interesting to Johner is working within the bounds of the shapes and
materials she’s given, and simply allowing the process to unfold. The only con-
cept behind her work might be an appreciation for art as a way of recycling,
a response to what she calls our throw-away society. It’s a bit like being a kid
again, when playing with left over pop bottles and cardboard boxes was always
a lot more fun than playing with the new Transformers.
SPORTS
17/
sports@gateway.ualberta.ca + thursday, 23 march, 2006
Thurston, Bears ready to defend University Cup
MIKE KENDRICK
Sports Staff
Last year, they ripped through challengers all
season, claiming the Canada West Finals and
going on to win the Telus University Cup on
home ice. This year, with a new coach, new
goaltending and a handful of last season’s stars
stepping up to lead the team, the Golden Bears
have some high expectations to live up to.
Having finished in the number-one spot in
Canada West play this year with a 21-5-2 record,
the Bears overcame a slow start to the season,
attributed partially to reworking the team’s
chemistry after losing some of the past season's
top players to graduation. Coach Rob Daum also
left the team to coach the Houston Aeros of the
American Hockey League and handed the reins
to his long-time assistant Eric Thurston. While
Thurston feels the team is prepared, he doesn’t
undermine the importance of this tournament.
“Tt’s a Russian Roulette tournament. It’s one
game, and basically you lose that game and
youre history,” he said.
The Bears will look to the experience in their
defensive rosters to put up big stops, while adding
support to a well-balanced forward lineup.
“We've got lots of experience up there ... even
though we've got a couple new guys like Dylan
Stanley and Tyler Metcalfe; they may be first-year
guys, but they play like veterans.”
At the start of the season, Thurston was also
tasked with the challenge of finding the right
man to put between the pipes, having lost goal-
tenders Dustin Schwartz and BJ Boxma. After a
tight race for starting position, Thurston now
has high hopes for first-year netminder Aaron
Sorochan.
“He's carried the bulk of the load from the
second half [of the season]. He’s a tremendous
goalie and we're going to look to see good
things from him in order to be successful,” said
Thurston, pointing out the value of Sorochan’s
playoff experience in the Western Hockey
League.
This year marks the Bears’ tenth-straight
appearance at nationals in 31 appearances over-
all. They also enter as the top seed for the sixth-
straight year, with eleven national titles to their
credit at this point.
Thurston insists that the numbers don’t mean
anything, though. “Superstition goes out when
the puck is dropped,” he said.
The Bears receive a first-round bye thanks to
their seed in the tournament, and will face the
loser of the McGill-Laurier game on 24 March.
Apart from Saskatchewan, the team will be
facing all-new contenders this year in the form
of the winners of the Ontario and Atlantic divi-
sions. This adds an extra degree of difficulty to
the tournament, considering what little experi-
ence the teams have with one another. Thurston
has no favourites, though, saying ifhe could have
his way, he'd rather see the team face his daugh-
ter’s pre-novice team in the final.
“T think we can outmuscle them, and I haven’t
seen much good goaltending from [them],” he
said with a laugh.
The jokes stop for Thurston come tournament
time, though, as he admitted that his focus won't
be on which team they're playing, but how the
Bears themselves are playing.
“When you get there, you have no control over
that, so you look after your end and just take it
from there.”
The Telus University Cup begins this Thursday
and runs from 23-26 March. Alberta fans can
tune in to TSN to catch them play on Saturday
at 4pm. Should they win Saturday, they'll qualify
for the championship final, which will be played
on Sunday at Rexall Place at 7pm. The game will
also air live on TSN.
pee
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A
F MATT FREHNER
SEEKING REDEMPTION Huskies head coach Dave Adolph is taking nationals one game at a time.
CHRIS O'LEARY
Sports Editor
It was one year ago this weekend that the
Saskatchewan Huskies had their championship
dreams shattered at the paws of the Golden Bears
hockey team. Now, the Huskies are back for
another shot at CIS gold—but they're insisting
that last year’s 4—3 overtime loss to Alberta is the
last thing on their minds.
“If anything, we just tried to get rid of [the
memory],” said Huskies head coach Dave Adolph.
“We have enough ghosts from playing the U of
A, we don’t need anymore.”
While it’s hard to see how the Huskies could just
forget a devastating loss like last year’s CIS final,
Adolph’s assertion that his team has been haunted
by Alberta is far from an understatement.
Last season’s championship win aside, the
Bears could arguably take credit for turning
what was the Huskies’ cakewalk of a season
on its head. Saskatchewan sat on top of the CIS
rankings for ten consecutive weeks this year,
from 8 November until 31 January. They lost
their number-one ranking after the Bears swept
them at Clare Drake Arena over the weekend of
27 January. From there, the Huskies made it to
the Canada West final, only to be thumped by
the Bears in the Canada West Final 2—0 and a
resounding 6—1. Adolph said that his team needs
to find the formula that was so successful for
them in the first half of the season before they
can focus on beating the Bears.
“We haven't scored a pretty goal, or a whole
bunch of goals, since Christmas. We've talked
about our forecheck, and our powerplay has been
pitiful since Christmas,” he said. “We've been talk-
ing about that, trying to work it out. We haven't
talked about [last season] at all. [This season was
about] the opportunity to have another chance.
Hopefully it’s against the Bears; that’d be a great
chance to redeem ourselves, but we have to win
game one. Our opportunity starts today.”
That opportunity starts with the second-ranked
and Atlantic University Sport champion Acadia
Axemen, who the Huskies will square off with
at lpm today at Clare Drake Arena. Saskatchewan
faces the Axemen as the tournament's fifth seed
out of six teams—a place that Adolph admitted is
far from where he had thought they’d be.
“We haven't scored a pretty
goal, or a whole bunch of goals,
since Christmas.”
DAVE ADOLPH
HUSKIES HEAD COACH
“Tt doesn’t hurt our feelings at all,” he said.
“The way the rankings work is that as soon
as the three conferences are declared cham-
pions, they get one through three. The other
stuff works out the pools. We had a great run
in the first half to be first-ranked and then we
got swept by the Bears in early January and lost
our seed. I knew we'd be in the opposite side of
the Bears whether we won or lost, and we're in
tough against Acadia.”
Adolph said that with the round robin nature of
the tournament, studying up on one team’s sys-
tems isn’t a good idea. He's stressed special teams
to his players in preparation for the Axemen, and
is hoping that his team will have what it takes to
move into the winners bracket from there.
“You can look at Acadia’s team play, but all it
has to do with is their powerplay and penalty
kill. That’s your key to success in a one-game
shot, is you've got to stop their powerplay and
maybe find a chink in their armour. Acadia’s
unbelievable. They're deep like Alberta and we're
not as deep as either of those teams. We're in a
tough pool. A tough, tough pool.”
18 Sports
thursday, 23 march, 2006
Paid and volunteer
positions within the SU.
Lakehead embraces dark horse status
PAUL OWEN
Sports Staff
Five years ago, the Lakehead University
Thunderwolves were embarking on their first
CIS season. This coming weekend, the school
from Thunder Bay, Ontario will be making their
second appearance at the CIS national champion-
ships in those five years.
The Thunderwolves were surprise winners of
the Queen's Cup, awarded annually to the cham-
pion of the Ontario University Athletics (OUA)
conference, with a 4—0 defeat of McGill. The vic-
tory accomplished two of their main goals on the
And that’s exactly what I wanted.”
Despite being well prepared, the Thunderwolves
don’t hold any illusions over being a favourite in
the tournament, and recognize that they will have
to play more disciplined than they did in their
victory over McGill in the Queen's Cup, when
they took twelve penalties.
“T think discipline [will be something we need
to work on]. We need to stay focused and not
take selfish penalties. We took some penalties that
were very selfish [against McGill] and luckily our
penalty killing saved us,” said Belliveau.
season. “TU ofA sports information
“Our goal this year was to win the Ontario director] Bob Stauffer calls our
Championship—we have an older, veteran
team—and our goal was to qualify for the [non-conference] schedule the
University Cup,” said head coach Peter Belliveau.
Lakehead enters with a 13-9-2 regular season
record, but shocked the OUA with road upsets
toughest schedule in Canada,
and if you look at it, I think it
over Western, Wilfrid Laurier and McGill in was the toughest.”
i ee rap ah ana PETER BELLIVEAU
Pp’ Pp , be HEAD COACH,
counting on momentum to be a big factor in the
University Cup.
“We've had 14 days between [winning the
Queen's Cup and playing at nationals], so it’s like
a mini-training camp right now,” he said. “I think
momentum is pretty much gone at this point. We've
practiced with five other teams since we won the
Queen's Cup, but it’s not the same as games.”
Lakehead features a veteran-heavy team with ten
returning players from their last national appear-
ance in 2003 and four players remaining from
their inaugural CIS season. The Thunderwolves
have also spent the entire season preparing for the
stiffer competition at nationals by playing a dif-
ficult non-conference schedule, featuring teams
such as Saskatchewan, Calgary and the two-time
defending NCAA champions from Denver.
“TU of A sports information director] Bob
Stauffer calls our [non-conference] schedule the
toughest schedule in Canada, and if you look at it,
I think it was the toughest,” said Belliveau. “We
played more games than anybody else, and we
played them all against very tough competition.
School of Business
Lakehead will have to play the role of the
underdog, but are comfortable in that position,
especially having done it all season in the OUA.
“I don’t know if wematch-up well with anyone,”
said Belliveau. “I think we should be seeded
number four, behind Alberta, Saskatchewan—I
still can’t figure out how they could get blown
out in a two-game series like that—and Acadia.
I think we're in the tougher division, so I think
without a doubt our hard work and depth is going
to be key: We're not a one-line, one-defenceman
team; both of our goalies play, and from player
one through 22, there is a lot of parity.
“We know we're in tough [in the round robin],
and we think whoever comes out of our divi-
sion to play Alberta [in the final] could surprise
them because Alberta has a weaker pool, and our
winner will be battle-ready. Everyone is going
to be talking about Alberta, Saskatchewan, and
Acadia, and that’s fine by us.”
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THE GATEWAY + volume XCVI number 42
SPORTS
Childhoods built on crappy summer games
HORSE, soccer baseball, foursquare and rosy red ass make Gateway sports
writers what they have become today; red rover a potentially fatal game
GATEWAY
SPORTS
STAFF
Sports
Commentary
Before you fell in love with the sport
that keeps you up all night checking
stats and scores online, you spent
your summers playing these games.
Hybrids of sports that you never
thought were imaginable; games that
were made up out of the inanimate
objects in your backyard; games that
were likely designed solely to pass the
25 minutes you had outside during
recess when you were a kid. These
games and what happened in them
when they were being played are how
we spent significant portions of our
childhoods and created hours (well, at
least 30 minutes) of discussion among
the Gateway sports staff when they
were brought up recently.
Trevor Phillips
My favourite summer sports when I
was younger have to go to the three
basketball epics of 21, HORSE and
bump. Twenty-one, the first game I
ever learned how to play, is the uni-
versal game of basketball in the sense
that anyone can play it. Whether the
game is played in a gym, with a Nerf
ball in a living room, or in a pool, it
literally becomes, “Who can hit the
most shots in a row,” and that supplies
endless entertainment with limited
physical movement—really, the recipe
for an instant classic.
HORSE is the game of outrageous
shots and even more outrageous shot
attempts. HORSE is great because you
can always brag about the time you hit
a game-winning shot while standing
on one foot, with one hand on the
garage door, your eyes closed, singing
the national anthem and hitting noth-
ing but net.
Then there is bump: the multi-
person, multi-ball, fast-paced game of
elimination. No matter if it’s a group
of five or 25, hilarity is almost always
going to ensue. Some of my favourite
memories come from playing bump
at 10:30pm, outside on the last day
of fall. It was cold, dark and slippery,
and nobody could get anybody out, so
we'd just laugh until we couldn’t even
run anymore and end up chasing the
ball down the street.
These games are great because
much like the memories forged while
playing them, they’ll still be just as fun
to enjoy 50 years later.
Chris O'Leary
When I was a kid, I played one year of
T-ball and I hated it. My parents forced
me to go to the last few games, and
when the season ended I said I’d never
play it again. The next summer, they
tried to get me to play soccer. For some
reason, I was adamant that I wouldn't
play it. It may have been the first time
in my life that I disliked something
because my parents thought it would
be good for me.
You can imagine my surprise, then,
when one sunny day in May, my fifth-
grade teacher, who was clearly sick
of teaching us and wanted 1 July to
arrive as soon as possible, thought that
we'd learn more that afternoon on the
baseball diamond kicking a dodgeball
around. Soccer baseball was an early
summer phenomenon for me and
my classmates every year from the
time I was introduced to it in the fifth
grade, right through to my last day
of junior high. It formed ‘1iendships,
sometimes caused small brawls and,
thanks to some adolescent clumsiness
and a little luck on the part of a friend
of mine in the ninth grade, it was his
gateway to second base with the hot-
test girl in the class. Try and find me a
summer game that shapes lives more
than soccer baseball. If you come back
to me and say you've done it, I'll slap
you across the face and call you a liar.
I'm sick of being messed with.
PaulOwen
When I was seven, the school board
painted four boxes inside another box
on our playground. The outside box
was about 15 feet across or so, and we
all thought it was some sort of impos-
sibly gigantic game of hopscotch. Then
one of the older kids showed us how
to play foursquare. Well, that initial
game ended when the seventh-grader
had doled out two bleeding noses and
an additional black eye to his younger
competitors, but I fell in love with
the game. From the decision to use
a dodge ball or a basketball to choos-
ing whether to send it in the flow of
play, reverse the flow or attempt the
tricky cross-court shot, slapping a ball
at my opponents or dodging it nimbly
when they tried to hit me and ended
up sending it out became my favou-
rite lunchtime hobby. In fact, I’m still
undefeated. Bring it on, bitches.
DavidBerry
My favourite days as an elementarian
were when the school janitor would go
up to the roof to clean off the tennis
balls. The skies would rain green, fuzzy
spheres, and every fourth- to sixth-
grader would once again have their
arsenal for the mother of all games:
rosy red ass. Essentially an extremely
low-rent version of racquetball or some-
thing, you threw the tennis ball at the
wall and caught it when it came back.
The twist came when you dropped the
ball—if someone managed to throw
it against the wall before you touched
it, you had to stand there while that
person threw the ball again, this time
at your swollen ass.
Between the violence, the chance for
fancy plays (between-the-legs catches,
bitches!) and the fact you got to swear,
rosy red ass was about as solid a recess
game as there was. About the only
downside was when, inevitably, some-
one aimed a little too high, and we had
to wait until next janitor day to get the
tennis ball back. On the plus side, when
we did get the ball back, the poor kid
who threw it up there ended up with |
the reddest ass of all.
NickFrost
Gone are the glory days when I was
king of the foursquare and home run
kicker for the soccer-baseball intra-
mural team. My parents moved me
to a bigger school when I was young
and that really knocked me down a
few pegs. Regardless, all those crazy,
quasi-summer-sports we played as
kids were an absolute riot. There's too
many to pick a winner, so I’m going
with both my favourite outdoor and
indoor sport.
My outdoor pick, though tough to
pinpoint one, goes to ball tag. The ball
of choice: one of those mini, plush
Eskies’ footballs. My reasoning here
is completely selfish, though. Back in
grade six, I held (and probably still
hold) the record for most recesses
without finishing as “it.” I think the
number ended up reaching 23 games,
or something The most enjoyable
part of it was knowing that I was a
target—if only they'd have looked in
the teachers’ parking lot.
The indoor sport of choice back
in the day was, easily, mini-stick
hockey. The boys and I would gather
in my friend Steve's basement, with
those little white sticks and that little
yellow foam ball that, when whipped
hard enough, packed enough energy
to bruise testicles. We even had mini
nets, which was totally hardcore.
We maintained some civility during
games. Sometimes. However, there
weren't any rules, and random mass
brawls were pretty much a given.
Ross Prusakowski
While carefree games of street
hockey helped to pass many long
summer days, red rover is the only
game from my childhood that truly
holds a special place in my heart.
Why, you may ask? To this day, I can
still slap on a pair of goalie pads and
hit the street for a game of hockey.
However, I’ve been forever forced
to watch from a safe distance when
lines are assembled and people called
over. I won't lie; it tears at my soul
not to be out there crashing through
arms and “accidentally” running at
the girls. In the end though, I have
only myself to blame for being per-
manently excluded.
All it took was one memorable
game in junior high of being called
over to spoil a promising red rover
career. Apparently, knocking people
over and breaking their links may
be fine—breaking someone's ribs,
however, doesn’t go over well with
a school’s administration. Yet, even
today, I sometimes linger on the edge
of games and hope that someone for-
gets that when it comes to red rover,
youre not allowed to call Rossy over.
GATEWAY SPORTS
Playing without helmets since 1910
NEED A
BREAK FROM
THIS SEAT?
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GOLDEN BEARS & PANDAS SPORTS
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WOLF SEAT IS REAM...
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MARCH 23 - 26
CLARE DRAKE ARENA & REXALL PLACE
GOLDEN BEARS PLAY
MARCH 24 @ 7PM & MARCH 25 © 4PM
www.hears.ualherta.ca
2() SPORTS
thursday, 23 march, 2006
think Today
Use the power of words
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The Leslie Nielsen School of
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you ve got quest
Golden Hawks flying under the radar
ROBIN COLLUM
Sports Staff
They may be the lowest-seeded hockey team
at the national championship, but the Wilfred
Laurier Golden Hawks consider themselves con-
tenders for the University Cup. They're hoping
that, with some hard work, they can persevere
and surprise more than a few spectators when
they match up against the favourites.
This weekend will be the Golden Hawks’ first
time at CIS nationals since the 2000/01 season,
when they had a berth as tournament hosts.
Their coach isn’t worried about going into the
tournament with long odds, though.
“We're the classic underdogs in this tourna-
ment,” said Hawks head coach Stephen Martell.
“But we feel that we're good, and that we can
compete. We're going to try to win.
“The pressure’s not on us, it’s on teams like the
UofA,” he added. “They're in first place, and they
have a history of not doing well at events like this.
McGill too, has a bad history that way.”
The Golden Bears are the defending national
champions, and hold eleven CIS banners in the
sport, more than any other team. They have
three titles from their last nine appearances in
the tournament.
Martell had nothing but good things to say
about his players, citing teamwork as their great-
est strength coming into the tournament.
“We're a good team, and we compete well
together,” he said. “It’s a really tight group. We
love going out on the ice, playing the best way
we can, and having a good time.”
The Golden Hawks had a very strong second
half to their season. Despite a weak 5-9-2 start,
they rallied together and went 8-2 in their
final ten games. They captured bronze in the
Ontario University Athletics conference, beating
l'Universite du Quebec-Trois Rivieres to secure
the wild card spot for this weekend.
“We've had a really good season, especially
in the second half,” said Martell. “I think we’re
peaking at exactly the right time.”
The Golden Hawks’ opponents won't be
: TT FREHNER
GOLD HUNT Hawks head coach Stephen Martell
taking any chances with them. This year’s host
team and first-ranked seed, the Golden Bears,
will be looking out for the Hawks when they
meet them on Friday or Saturday. Bears head
coach Eric Thurston echoed Martell’s comments
on the Golden Hawks.
“T know that they're a very hard-working
team,” said Thurston. “What I’ve heard from
teams and scouting reports is that they're com-
mitted and they get solid goaltending.
“At a tournament like this, you run into
teams with good goaltenders, and they're able
to change the momentum by making big saves.
They can ride a good goaltender all the way to a
national championship.”
Wilfred Laurier’s first game will be against the
fourth-seeded McGill Redmen on Thursday at
7pm. If they win, they meet the Golden Bears on
Saturday, or on Friday if they lose against McGill.
Martell acknowleged that his players are
up against good teams, but he’s confident and
enthusiastic about his team’s chances.
“We want to win; that’s our goal going in,
and that’s why we'll be there.”
0-26 SUB | 9am - 4:30pm | 492.4086
CSD@su.ualberta.ca | www.su.ualberta.ca/csd = centre for student
development
Sif1OD 10 masep Ow) Hb Store balevie PHIYRL Sides 69’ 37) to epsoe Ait cebe
Al
entertainment@gateway.ualberta.ca » thursday, 23 march, 2006
This Classified has been running for twelve years
Nova Scotian rapper Classified talks about producing records, the lack of hip-hop radio and playing the rap game in Canada
Classified
Saturday, 25 March at 11pm
Caliente Urban Night Club
RAMIN OSTAD
Arts & Entertainment Staff
Canada's hip-hop scene is a harsh mistress. For
most aspiring rappers, gaining credibility is a hard
enough thing to do inside major urban centres like
Toronto and Vancouver, where the vibe is clearly
established. It will likely come as a shock to most
that one of the country’s fastest-rising rap stars is
a white guy from the far coast of Halifax, Nova
Scotia. For the last twelve years, rapper Classified
has been slowly making his way up the ranks of
Canada’s hip-hop community—and though he
seems like the last person you'd expect to be a
rapper, it’s always been a part of his nature. |
“Basically, when I was like, 15, I just kind of
started messing around with it,” says Classified.
“Actually, my dad was in a band, so we always ~
had gear and microphones in the basement. I kind
of just picked it up as a hobby and I just kept going
with it, buying my own equipment, building my
own mini studio, and just stuff like that.”
Twelve years later, Classified has plenty of victo-
ries under his belt, including collaborations with
acclaimed rappers like Choclair and Royce Da 5’9”,
as well as being nominated for Rap Recording of
the Year and Rap Video of the Year by the Urban
Music Association of Canada in 2000 for his single
“Unpredictable.” However, Classified’s favourite
career highlight is easy: opening up for Busta
Rhymes.
“Opening up for Busta Rhymes was pretty
cool, ‘cause that was probably one of the best con-
certs that I ever saw. I've always been a big Busta
Rhymes fan, and he’s crazy live, so just being able
to watch him perform, you can pick and learn so
much just from the live shows.”
As well as being an acclaimed lyricist, Classified
has become an established producer, which has
given him opportunities to collaborate on tracks
with veterans like Maestro. After years of per-
fecting his abilities as a producer, he’s found that
with all these skills in his arsenal, the challenge is
balancing increased responsibilities on an album
with the base of the recording—the rapping.
“A lot of people don’t want to get into produc-
tion because it takes away from the rhyming,” he
says. “You can’t dedicate yourself 100 per cent to
working on your flows, working on your rhymes,
working on your patterns, stuff like that, because
I got a whole other aspect I got to touch on now.
At the same time, it lets me craft my whole song.
I can go to the studio and say ‘I want to make a
track like this,’ instead of trying to tell another
producer what I’m looking for.”
However, none of these accomplishments or
skills came easily. Gaining the credibility and
clout needed to open these doors is a difficult
thing in Canada, where the only real national
outlet for hip-hop is through videos on Much
Music. Without many commercial hip-hop radio
stations, underground rappers like Classified have
to rely on their own legwork to get heard.
“Radio’s a big [problem] in Canada. In the
States, each major city has four or five commercial
hip-hop stations, and if they never had that, then
no one in that city would have heard of that artist.
Up in Canada, if you don’t have a video, you really
don’t have nothing, unless you're touring, like,
360 days a year. There's no way to really get your
name out there besides getting that video.”
Despite that kind of adversity, Classified has
accomplished a lot in his twelve years in the indus-
try. With numerous successes under his belt, he's
become a name that’s constantly in popularity,
notably for outdoing himself with each record.
“When I make my records, if I’m not feeling
it more than the last one, I'll just stop making
it. If you're not going to step it up, then why
bother?”
Solo Strangler on the loose, heading towards campus
HughComwell
with Twilight Hotel
Saturday, 25 March at 8pm
PowerPlant
DANA KOMPERDO
Arts & Entertainment Staff
Ask anyone who has been around the music busi-
ness for more than 20 years, and you'll probably
hear the same thing from each of them: nobody
wants to hear the new stuff. The classics always
play out best in front of fans, but when Hugh
Cornwell, former frontman and driving force
behind the ’70s UK punk band-The Stranglers,
‘comes to town this Saturday,-this rule of long-
standing rockers might only hold partially true.
When Cornwell split from The Stranglers in
1990, it marked not only a change in the ranks
of the longstanding group, but the beginning of a
successful solo career. Recalling his time with The _
Stranglers positively, but starting to lack as a cre-
ative outlet, Cornwell is set to crank out some of
his latest tracks, while not forgetting that his hits
with The Stranglers enabled his current success.
“T have to stress that I'm doing 50 per cent the
" old Stranglers numbers,” says Cornwell from his
hotel room in Winnipeg. “So people don’t have
to be worried about coming and thinking, ‘He's
not going to play anything, he’s just going to play
his old boring solo stuff’ I've thought about that
and I realize people come to see me partly because
of the heritage—the strong rich heritage of The
Stranglers.”
The fans looking for a blast from the past have
indeed been craving Cornwell, and his solo
recordings have brought him to several countries
in the past years. While the audiences now are
filled with fans both old and new, Cornwell notes
that borders don’t distinguish audiences. It doesn’t
matter where they are, or even what language they
speak, as the universality of his music and perfor-
mance comes through to even the newfound fans
of his songwriting.
“The audiences, I find, they seem to be very
knowledgeable about my past—The Stranglers
and what I've done since The Stranglers,” explains
Cornwell. “And they're not all sort of in their 40s,
either. There are some really younger-generation
people that are really knowledgeable and seem to
be very interested.”
Being well-versed in Cornwell's past also means
being versed into his past indiscretions. An arrest
for drugs marked Cornwell’s part of The Stranglers’
run-ins with the law, but at the end of the day it
was nothing unexpected of a rebellious ’70s punk
group. While Cornwell was part of a scene that
defined itself by sticking it to The Man, Cornwell
sees the problem with today’s music as an actual
absence of things going wrong.
“The difficulty that people writing nowadays
have is that everything is politically correct—
everything is acceptable and open for discussion,”
says Cornwell. “It’s very difficult to rebel against
anything. You know, the whole Bush/war in Iraq
thing, that’s a great cause for rebellion, but besides
that and global warming and the whole weather
situation, there’s an absence of protest or urge to
change things for the better because it’s pretty
good at the moment.”
And things aren't too bad for Cornwell, either,
who after more than 15 years alone has estab-
lished himself as a solo songwriter separate from
his identity as The Stranglers’ lead singer. Keeping
busy, he released his last album Beyond the Elysian
Fields in 2004 and in the same year published an
autobiography, A Multitude of Sins, describing his
experiences in the British punk scene of the ’70s
ALE TINE Hf
and ’80s. While not yet in the process of record-
ing, he continues to write and keep his next album
in the forefront of his mind.
“I went to Morocco for ten days and did .a bit
of writing down there,” says Cornwell. “I mean I
had a load of ideas; I just wanted to go somewhere
and cut myself off for a little while. So I did that
for about a week and I've got about half a dozen
songs.”
Despite having created more than two dozen
records throughout the course of his career, the
process of cutting a disc hasn't become old hat
to him just yet. Cornwell describes his theory on
making albums as constantly re-recording the
same album throughout his career, hopefully to
make it even better each time.
“You know, as soon as you finish a record you
think, “Well, it’s better than the last one, but I can
do better than that,’ because in the actual process
of doing it you learn so much.”
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
thursday, 23 march, 2006
School of Business
MACEWAN
think TOMOrrow
So you’ve got a degree under your belt.
Now what?
Think about joining the rapidly growing public relations industry and
using your skills to help organizations, large and small, communicate
effectively with their various audiences. MacEwan’s full-time or
part-time public relations program is designed for students with
previous postsecondary education and can have you working in the
industry after as little as 10 months of classroom and on-the-job
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Call Barb Martin, instructional assistant, at 497-5389.
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SOCIAL
INTERCOURSE
MatthewGood
Solo acoustic performance
Thursday, 23 March at 7pm
Myer Horowitz Theatre
Exams are inching closer, final papers are approach-
ing their deadlines and the snow is dumping on us
like there’s no tomorrow. All and all, it truly seems
as though we do, indeed, need some sort of emer-
gency relief, so if you're looking for a bit of a break
this weekend, make sure you catch Matt Good live
at the Horowitz theatre.
Aside from once being a part of the Matthew
Good Band, Matt Good is renowned for his politi-
cal activism and undying fight for the protection
of human rights. The Burnaby, British Columbia
native doesn’t spend all of his time writing angry
letters, though; more importantly, he’s one
heck of a solo artist with a voice that’s bound to
make shoots of grass penetrate the two feet of
snow.
City And Colour
featuring Dallas Green from Alexisonfire
Friday, 24 March at 7pm
Myer Horowitz
While many have already heard of Matt Good, not
many are familiar with solo musician Dallas Green.
In short, he’s better known as the melodic side of
screamo-punk band Alexisonfire, and come this
Friday, he'll be showering audiences with his multi-
talented musical capabilities.
Under his solo moniker City And Colour, Dallas
Green has recently released a full-length album
entitled Sometimes, a record featuring heartfelt
lyrics alongside moving vocals and crisp acoustics.
Green's side project is a culmination of years of
music he’s written on his own, and with the release
of Sometimes and his current Canadian tour,
Alexisonfire fans—as well as those who simply
enjoy soft and mellow tunes—will finally get the
chance to see what he’s been up to during his
spare time.
The Blue Light
Written by Mieko Ouchi
24 March to 2 April at 8pm
TransAlta Arts Barns
If you're looking for something to do that, by some
odd chance, involves Canada and a stage and the
colour blue, look no further: Mieko Ouchi’s new
highly regarded play The Blue Light is playing at
the TransAlta Arts Barns over the next couple of
weeks.
Mieko Ouchi is a Canadian playwright who, in
the past, has. been nominated for the Governor
General's Award for her play The Red Priest.
Ouchi’s talents as a writer have been transferred
to her latest work, a story that.centres upon the
figure of Leni Riefenstahl, a controversial woman
who changed the foundations of cinema in pre-
WWII Germany. A dancer, actor, photographer and
filmmaker, Riefenstahl’s identity as a Third Reich
puppet or innocent documentarian is questioned,
and it’s for you to decide her true character.
Fait Accomplit Release Party
Monday, 27 March at 7pm
24 March to 2 April at 8pm
Dewey's
It’s not everyday that you get to experience the
works and projects of your fellow students, so if
you want to catch a glimpse of what some of your
hard-working peers have been up to in the last
little while, stop by Dewey's this Monday for the
Fait Accomplit release party.
Fait Accomplit is a literary journal produced
by students enrolled in Comparative Literature
classes, and the release party will involve every-
thing from readings to photography, displays and
music. The cost is $10, and while you're busy enjoy-
ing an entertaining evening, you'll be happy to
know that your money is supporting a fine group
of aspiring writers and artists.
AMANDA ASH
Arts & Entertainment Staff
A Career in Public Health
Concordia University Colle of Alberta's
Bachelor of Environmental He :
THE GATEWAY «+ volume XCVI number 42
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 99
The Sword ofDoom
Directed by Kihachi Okamoto
Starring Tatsuya Nakadai, Yuzo
Kayama and Michiyo Aratama
Sunday, 26 March at 7pm
Metro Cinema
VICTOR VARGAS
Arts & Entertainment Writer
Recent martial-arts movies have been
flashy, high-profile affairs: unreal fight-
ing moves, insanely high production
value and plots that follow the rules
of logic and continuity have become
standard. However, this belies the
origins. of the martial arts genre, the
70s films that relied on honour, real-
istic fighting and a self-explanatory title
such as The Sword of Doom to tell the
story.
Doom follows Ryunosuke Tsukue
(Tatsuya Nakadai), master ofan unusual
fighting technique known as “Silent
Stance,’ who does nasty things like kill
old people, sleep with married women
and kill people in what are supposed to
be non-lethal duels. Ryunosuke contin-
ues his wanton destruction until a good
samurai, seeking to avenge his broth-
er’s death, finally challenges him. Add
to this mix the chaotic political times of
1960s Japan and large fight scenes and
you have The Sword of Doom.
Most people will find the story of The
Sword of Doom hard to follow, if not
near impossible. Several characters are
introduced in certain scenes, only for
them to disappear for 20 minutes, reap-
pear briefly, and then -vanish again just
Sword cuts through modern samurai flicks
as quickly. Confused Western audiences
have to try to follow this confusing plot
while reading subtitles, and they have
to remember a slew of Japanese names,
many of which belong to characters
who quickly die anyways.
Seeing things like a
Samurai master stare
down ten guys for a
minute straight, only
to scare two of them
off and continue to
stare, lends an element
missing in modern
films.
If you can manage to follow it, the
story is actually quite interesting. Many
of the actors play deep characters that
are brought out by some excellent
acting. While not much is revealed in
actual conversations, facial glances and
other movements tell almost about
a third of the story. Director Kihachi
Okamoto manages to explore moral
ambiguity in these characters and make
viewers question the boundaries of
what is right and what is wrong.
Ironically, even if you can enjoy the
story and plot, Okamoto has seemingly
ensured that you will be disappointed
in the end regardless. The conclusion
to The Sword of Doom is extremely
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ambiguous, leaving many of the plots
and fates of the characters unknown.
This leaves an unsatisfying feeling,
especially considering how difficult
it is to follow the film’s action in the
first place. Still, this indeterminate
ending could indeed appeal to some,
as its ambiguity, while frustrating, also
allows people to design—at least par-
tially—their own ending for the film.
If you're not one for plot, the spec-
tacular fight scenes range from a long
kendo death duel to Ryunsuke fighting
several men at once. While these fights
obviously do not feature extreme stunts
seen in modern films like Kill Bill, they
do manage. to bring an-air of realism
and awesomeness to the screen; seeing
things like a samurai master stare down
ten guys for a minute straight, only to
scare two of them off and continue
to stare, lends an element missing in
modern films. Not to totally discount
the action, though; the last fight scene
of the movie is noted as being one of
the greatest fight sequences in Japanese
cinema history.
While this movie is an excellent cin-
ematic work, much of it now feels like
a film that should have been in Mystery
Science Theatre 3000. The evil samu-
rai appearing in a pure black outfit,
the lesser samurai being senselessly
slaughtered by one man and some of
- the contrived plot devices make this
movie a bit ridiculous in retrospect.
But then’ again, when your watching
a movie call The Sword of Doom, an
action-filled, slightly cheesy film might
“actually fit the bill perfectly.
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24 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
thursday, 23 march, 2006
YOU DIEIN THE GAME-YOU DIE FOR REAL
oe
The American Eyes
Never Trust Anything That Bleeds!
Side One Dummy
www.americaneyes.com
MIKE KENDRICK
Arts & Entertainment Staff
ay
4 Bik
KO)
MACHER, AVENUE
Cs el
Machete Avenue
The First Cuts
Underground Operations
www.macheteavenue.com
LISA SQUIRE
Arts & Entertainment Writer
../’ ve Chosen Darkness
Fear is on Our Side
Secretly Canadian
wwwchosendarkness.com
RACHEL MWESIGYE
Arts & Entertainment Writer
Torn out of the middle ground that
lies between today’s emo and indie
genres comes yet another quartet of
clad-in-black, mascara-wearing punk
| rockers. Dubbing themselves The
American Eyes, their album, Never
Trust Anything That Bleeds is a seem-
ingly small contender, weighing in at
only six tracks, but packs a surprising
punch for its size.
While it isn’t anything substantially
different from most of the “scene”
music that all the cool kids are listening
to these days, it sticks with a winning
formula to produce a decent record.
Ignoring such poetically nonsensical
titles like “Carry on for Keepsake” and
“Knife Fight With a Girl,” it manages
to carry a solid sound that ties the
album together.
The record is indeed worth a second
listen, but when the running time hits
just shy of 20 minutes, it seems as if
something is missing from an other-
wise decent album.
If you're looking to listen to some-
thing new, and are tired of hearing
Simple Plan’s latest single played over
and over on the radio, give this album
a try. It’s at very least 20 minutes well
spent.
STAY ALIVE
PLAY 17 10 DEATH.
Set he. SUBJECT TO CLASSIFICATION DI: BA BSE waist
Bachelor of Commerce and Management
University Transfer program
Apply for September or January study.
Attend a free info session: \
Thurs, March 30, 1 pm, Room 5-322 ree
OR . f ~ fF 2 a
Wed, April 5,6 pm, Room 5-302 . Sane aes bs
City Centre Campus, 10700 — 104 Avenue :
Call Shelly at 497-5234 for more information. =
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My ‘ \ Ae
Wwww.macewan.ca/commerce > © 36
www.macewan.ca/asiapacific
The debut EP from newcomers Machete
Avenue, a Toronto based duo, The First
Cuts is seemingly a compilation of all
the dark, self-loathing reminiscing of
the past music we've heard time and
again: sad lyrics interlaced with pained
acoustics and tinges of piano.
Despite some great vocal harmo-
nization between lead singer Chad
Michael and backing Scotty Avenue, a
deep, airy, slightly out of place vocals
seems to dominate most of the songs.
This comes off as particularly odd on
the conspicuous inclusion of a cover of
Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.” To
put this choice simply: I didn't get it.
The piano and acoustic elements of
the songs are impressive for this new
Canadian act, but come off somewhat
hindered and restrained. The First Cuts
caps off the string of mediocrity with
an instrumental track that might be
their most promising song, a mood-
lightening ending to a string of six
songs that take you through all the typi-
cal tragedies of life.
Ultimately, The First Cuts is a good
listen for a weekend of self-pity and
depression, but it’s no different than
the stack of CDs you already keep for
the occasion.
School of Business
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Call Shelly at 497-5234 for more information.
Naming a band I Love You But I Have
Chosen Darkness might very well lead
to a destitute reception from an audi-
ence—or at the very least question-
able stares. Unfortunately, if the above
holds true, the Austin, Texas natives
will be denied the chance to prove to
the masses their unique hold on relax-
ing, rhythmic tones.
Fear is on Our Side heads back to
the basics and delivers fresh, indie-
rock instrumentals—live drums,
wordless tunes and all. The perfect
example of what the five rockers bring
on the album as a whole is the third
track, “Lights.” The song takes a feel-
good beat seamlessly blended with
rich vocals, resulting in a fresh sound
pumping out of your speakers.
However, between the tracks “The
Owl” and “Today,” the group seems
to attempt to hypnotize their audience
into a serene state of nothingness due
to their deficit of lyrics and backdrop
of mellowed-out beats. The one hope
for future releases from the band is
that if they're capable of matching
their lack of lyrics to their fully estab-
lished sound, the choice of I Love you
But I’ve Chosen Darkness as a name
will be the group’s sole worry.
MacEwan
www.MacEwan.ca
THE GATEWAY «+ volume XCVI number 42
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 5
ES
soto
Tetris still stacks up after 16 years
Tetris DS
Developed and published by Nintendo
Nintendo DS
Rated E for everyone
Onsale now
DANIEL KASZOR
Editor-in-Chief
Although the original Gameboy looked
more like a Geiger counter than a video
game system, and the four-shades-of-
puke screen was more apt to induce
headaches than euphoria, there was a
cartridge that almost everybody who
picked up the system loved: Tetris.
Now, more than 16 years later, Tetris is
making its debut on Nintendo’s newest
portable system, the Nintendo DS, and
the results are equally as pleasurable.
There's a reason why most “Best
Video Games of All Time” lists have
Tetris near the top: despite it’s simplic-
ity, or perhaps because of it, Tetris is
one of the most joyfully fun and addic-
tive games ever released. Many puzzle
games have come since, and while a
handful of them are popular in their
own right, none have ever quite cap-
tured the purity of Tetris’ seven-block
gameplay.
Over the years, there have been
several versions of Tetris released for
various systems that have played with
the formula and outright abandoned it
in many cases. Games like New Tetris
added strange new block shapes, while
Tetris Attack—though a good game
on its own merits—had nothing to do
with the original other than sharing
the name. Ultimately, all of the little
tweaks usually hurt the gameplay, and
overly complicated the simplicity that
made Tetris work.
Tetris DS straddles this line between
simplicity and modernization better
than any other revision of Tetris.
Although it’s a shame that the purely
original version wasn't included here,
the tweaks—the ability to hold a
block for later, and being able to view
the next five blocks coming instead
of just the next one—add a layer of
strategy to the endevour without pol-
luting the main gameplay. Beyond
the standard mode, the additional
types of game range from cool (Push
mode, Mission mode, Touch mode),
to lame (Puzzle mode), to just plain
weird (Catch mode).
Tetris may not be the
flashiest game ... but
the overall package
offered by Tetris DS is
more than worth your
time and money.
However, if the only mode included
here was the standard one, I would
still be recommending this game for
purchase—even if you already own
a copy of Tetris—because the mul-
tiplayer options are worth the price
by themselves. Two- to ten-player
games are possible with just one copy
of Tetris DS, and the optional Mario
Kart-style item play between players
elevates the experience. Also, unlike
those old multiplayer Gameboy bouts
of yesteryear, where both players had
to be practically giving each other a
hug because of the short cord between
Gameboys, the wireless connection
works over an approximately house-
sized distance.
If you don’t have any friends with
DSs, or if they go home or smell, you
can hook up and play people over the
interweb. Although you may have to
massage your wireless router settings to
allow a connection with your system,
the process of hooking up to any stan-
dard wireless network is fairly simple
(although, because of the security pro-
tocols they use, you will be unable to
use the U of A wireless networks).
Nintendo was going through some
issues with their own server on
Tuesday, so I haven't been able to play
quite as many online games as I’d like.
However, from what I have played, Ican
say that the important game modes are
represented, and the pleasure of beat-
ing a real human is many times that of
trouncing the computer. Additionally,
many of the problems found in. the
online play of Mario Kart DS—such
as lamers who drop out of the game
to save their win percentages—are
fixed here. However, the game doesn’t
allow for voice chat, which is a shame
because the DS is able to handle it (as
evidenced by Metroid Prime Hunters,
also released on Tuesday) and it would
have made the people at the other end
of my double Tetris smashing all the
more human.
Tetris may not be the flashiest game,
and you may already have a copy of it
floating around, but the overall pack-
age offered by Tetris DS is more than
worth your time and money. Now I
have to get back to playing.
Panic!At The Disco
A Fever You Cant Sweat Out
Decaydance
www.panicatthedisco.com
UZMA RAJAN
Arts & Entertainment Staff
SPRING © “
SUMMER
STUDIES
oh Ss Gs as a of the Spring & Summer Studies guide 2006 from the foyer of the Administration Building.
Following in the genre of bands like
Fall Out Boy and The Academy Is,
Panic! At The Disco offer an upbeat,
catchy album that’s sure to please, or at
least have you singing along with their
fresh and upbeat lyrics.
The Las Vegas band’s freshmen
release, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out,
is a considerable change from the
Blink 182 covers that they started out
playing. The tempos are fast, the lyrics
catchy and the vocals do justice to the
oft-unappreciated pop-punk genre.
With the titles like “I Write Sins not
Tragedies” and “Lying Is The Most Fun
A Girl Can Have With Her Clothes On,”
the subject matter covered by Panic! is
fun and engaging, complementing the
900C¢
high-paced energy of the album.
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out blends
19th-century accordions with “zaps”
from synthesizers, dividing the disc
in two halves: the first futuristic, the
second nostalgic. The polar opposites
work well to create a cohesive sound,
blending slower tracks, like the jazz
heavy “There's A Good Reason Why
These Tables Are Numbered Honey,
You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet,”
with the faster, toe-tapping “The Only
Difference Between Martyrdom and
Suicide is Press Coverage,” allowing lis-
teners the best of both worlds. Not for
the serious or dour, if you're planning
to buy the album, be ready for a frivo-
lous Las Vegas tryst.
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in many countries including Britain,
ireland, France, Germany, Austria,
South Africa, Japan, Australia, New
Zealand, & the USA. Find out how you
can have this amazing experience...
Come to the information session!
Wednesday March 29, 5:00pm
Alumni Lounge,
Student Union Building
Univ of Alberta
SWAP. Travel that works.
www.swap.ca
Visit www.registrar.ualberta.ca/springsummer for detailed information pick up a copy
26 COMICS thursday, 23 march, 2006
SPACE CAT by Fish Griwkowsky
Dia Somebody mention Gernot ‘ why
Gores ever yone
“Whovdy \ most .)
Idmik my own
; leack is against
= ran? Sy A vee veld Griend
MBs nok so much that
we. nake youu: weve. all
jyse ynove & on miko out
awy lives. J
MICH MICH by Shaun Lyons
VHH, GEEV? 1 DOwT WAVT DO YOU THWk YoU CovLD ee OH! HAHA! THATS’ JusT FROM
TO SPRIVG THIS OW YOU OR AnrTHMg (TARE A QUICK LOOK BEFORE ¢ / WHERE | WAS STABBIVEG YOU WITH,
BUT. WELL... 1FOUND SOME RED THE FORK! REMEMBER? UUDER f.
GO DOWD TO THE CLiMic Alp)
GET TESTEDE)
RUNS JHILE (| VAS 1M
THE BATH THIS MORUWE
THE TABLE AT CHILES?
TURN UP THE DIAL
IT ISN'T SINGEING
CAT ON A Fr
TIN GRICC:
how you’d like to complete you
four years of education. :
Start at or transfer to Mac
and graduate with your Ba
_ of Arts degree.
For all the details visit
HOICE.
www.MacEwan.ca
THE GATEWAY + volume XCVI number 42 COMICS 2a
EVERYDAY OSAMA by Iris Tse & Chris O'Leary
Open your mouth. Here : SY)
comes the airplane! Weeee! I’m an airplane. =
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by :
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(5) roy. T HT
89 vie te ag year 1 year 5 year 7 S SQ
DEBRIS by Quinn Furey
Bop youl? a7's CALED Bownous Reus VV
B HA i Y oe
Bob. the great Bob must chase rd ee doe nn
looks to be gray. have put it here. Hey! it's bouncy!
why is it here?
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN by Steve Schlauch
HoLtYwoop {Ss FAMous
FOR ENFORCING
DAMA GING STEREOTYPES
BY DUMBING DOWN
THEIR MOVES FOR
THE LOWEST COMMON
DENOMINATOR
: You CAN'T 3USTGO
| AND BELIEVE EVERYTHING
B You SEE INTHE
Movies
V(%)-VE =p (32 +7)
= éOo XE pe Phen Ser
YAH, TURNS OUT HE
TJVST STARTS DOING
SO HYPOTHETICALLY LETS
JUST SAY THAT SEEING A
MoME UKE ‘ONLEASHED!
DokESNT MEAN You cAN
Pot A coLLAR ON AN ASIAN
GUY ANbD ExPEcT HIMTO
KNow kUNGE-FU
ONCE You RECEWE
YouR MIDTERM, You
MAN BEGIN
REMEMBER, You ARE NoT
ALLOWED ANY CALCULATORS
FORMULA SHEETS o@ AIDES
oF ANY KIND
LOGIC PUZZLE by Scott C Bourgeois
H Yeoh, what do you... GASP) \[[ WDEED, Fis WEY We wove, Sean eran
: Rdence tha} suggests you have Uhm.» Ey dee a
The. KoBoT InQuIs} TION! cnen into the peisha\ Nena 5 ye 1's WHAT oldest trick in the
o& RoBor NIETZCHE! V'm aco} RoBor Gop!
You mes} come wiyth ust
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PICKLE FRENZY by Mike Kendrick
PICKLE FRENZY
PRESENTS
MIKE’S
GUIDE
TO
LIFE
IF YOUR NEIGHBOR PISSES YOU OFF,
YOU CAN ALWAYS SET HIS LAWN ON FIRE
MY DAD CAN TOTALLY
KICK YOUR ASS
SOME HOUSEHOLD CLEANING PEOPLE WILL LIKE YOU MORE IF YOU
4 PRODUCTS ARE EDIBLE LOOSEN THE BOLTS ON THEIR BIKE WHEELS
CLASSIFIEDS
28
-Do you want to study Physiotherapy or Physical Education?
-Do you enjoy new Exciting experiences and travel?
- Facing typical unrealistic Canadian University academic
entrance requirements?
Then Charles University in Prague, Czech Republic is for you.
- Tuition and flight are approximately the same
cost as Canadian tuition.
- Bachelor and Graduate/PHD Programs offered.
- Charles University founded in 1348 A_D.
- Accepting applications for September 2006
Canadian Agent: Ryan Parent M.Sc. PE.
rparent@starcatholic.ab.ca or (780)466-8191
wwwiftvs.cuni.cz/eng/international/self-financing
www
TRAVEL & WORK
Foreign Affairs
Affaires étrangeres
Canada
Canada
ivi
canada
WORKABROAD
VOYAGER ET TRAVAILLER A L’ETRANGER
thursday, 23 march, 2006
i i
i
.. your Hot Wings and cheap beer.
Support the University of Alberta Golden Bears in their quest for the championship,
and enjoy our famous Hot Wings for only $4.50. Wash them down with a 25 oz.
Schooner of our best import and domestic premium beers, all day. But only during
the tournament, March 23 - 26. Where else? Earls on Campus.
CLASSIFIEDS
To place aclassified ad, please go
towww.campusclassifieds.ca
FOR RENT
Looking for a place to live? Check out www.
rentingspaces.ca to find your next home!
}
/
4
each obo. 434-7321.
Hundreds of current listings throughout
Edmonton. A service of your Students’ Union.
Outstanding 1-bedroom, view of city and
river, 10 minutes from U of A and dwntwn.
Quiet adult building. Non-smoking/pets.
483-8202.
FOR SALE
4 MagicBus tickets to Marmot. Includes
luxury transport, lift ticket, park fees. $90
eS
3g0.ca 1-877-g0123g0
3
Canada
2 RedArrow bus tickets. Return to Calgary,
Red Deer or Fort McMurray. $50 each obo.
434-7321.
ANNOUNCEMENT
Sick of slo-pitch? Adult co-ed softball league
looking for players/teams. Competitive/rec
levels offered in fast-pitch/orthodox setting.
Incl personalized stats and player of the week
packages. For more info contact Cam 9os-
8503 or visit www.ecsaleague.ca.
Hockey fans help by joining newly-created
forum www.nhlwebforum.com today!
EMPLOYMENT - FULL TIME
MAYFAIR GOLF & CC JOB FAIR. Sat and Sun,
25 and 26 March, from 10am—zpm. 50+
positions. www.mayfair.ca.
Need asummer job? Painting positions, home
exterior, May to August, $6000-11000, no
experience required. Call Jessie at 719-1200
or e-mail jmoneyg25@hotmail.com.
Big Al’s Aquarium. Services is seeking
applicants for ft, pt, and cashier. Apply in store
with resumé. 3511-99st.
Attentionstudents, summerwork $18.05 base
appt. Secure summer position, interview now.
Start after finals, ft/pt customer sales/service,
no exp nec, conditions apply. Call NOW at
409-8608 or www.summerworkforyou.com.
Equity traders wanted. No capital required.
Proven methods and training. Job posting in
CaPS. traders@edmonton.swifttrade.com.
Go Green Landscaping is looking for
enthusiastic individuals to perform various
landscape duties. Must own own vehicle.
Starting wage $12-15/hour, depending on
experience. 903-6066.
EMPLOYMENT - PART TIME
Scona Pool hiring lifeguards,
instructors, cashiers. E-mail resumé to
office@parksandrecplus.com or PO Box
60190, U of A postal outlet, Edmonton, T6G
2S5. Phn 496-8758, attn Heather.
Exclusive ladies wear store downtown, sales
help wanted. Call Teresa 424-8787.
Chinese Fast Food at Central LRT station
seeking servers and short order cook. Ft or
pt, competitive wages. Call 428-3338 after
2:30 weekdays.
We are currently seeking a part-time (15 hrs
per week) receptionist for our busy health
clinic. Applicant must be energetic, flexible,
reliable, motivated, organized. Knowledge in
chiropractic would be an asset. Please send
resumé, attn: Saara,to 5846-111st Edmonton,
AB T6H 3G1 or via fax 780-433-1890.
Edmonton YMCA child care services hiring
pt out of school care staff for our north
Edmonton locations. Start work now and
stay on full-time in the summer with our
daycamp programs for children ages 5-12.
Hours available now are 7—9am and 3—6pm.
Free YMCA membership with employment.
E-mail cabel@edmontonymca.ca or call
429-5705 for more information.
EMPLOYMENT - TEMPORARY
Roswell Wake Air is currently looking for
motivated summer help. Shipping/receiving,
forklift and inventory management.Skills
would be an asset. $10-12/hr. Fax resumé to
490-4933 or e-mail info@roswellwakeair.com.
Career and Placement Services (CaPS) is
accepting applications for peer educators for
the 2006/07 academic year. Information is
available at CaPS (2-100 SUB) and on the web
at www.ualberta.calcaps.
PERSONALS
It’s Party Time! Dial: 44-PARTY Ads. Jokes, stories
and MORE! Free Local Call. 18+ Ladies always
free! Guys from s¢/minute! 1st time callers get
free trial with ad code: 4283. Meet new people...
make new friends. Try it NOW! (780) 44-PARTY.
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